


The Lucky Ones

by aliensinflowercrowns



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: AND DIDN'T GIVE ME ENOUGH FUCKING BAD GUYS TO WORK WITH, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Foster Care, Gen, HAD TO MAKE ALL THIS SHIT ABOUT THE POWER OF LOVE AND REDEMPTION, M/M, Sibling Love, WHAT THE HELL GRIFFIN, barry bluejeans the eternal seventeen year old, because GRIFFIN, blatant disregard for the rules of necromancy, hella swearing, i'm not tagging platonic relationships because that would be way too much work, playing fast and loose with the rules of magic, playing fast and loose with the rules of the voidfish, same goes with characters i'll add more as they show up, someone help these poor children, there are also some minor ocs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-03-29 17:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 28,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aliensinflowercrowns/pseuds/aliensinflowercrowns
Summary: Taako and Lup have been hiding since they were five years old. They've bounced from foster home to foster home, hiding from their past, hiding from their present, hiding from the Bad Luck that seemingly follows them around. They know if they're discovered as elves or magic users, it will mean death - or worse. But when a strange man dressed in a red cloak, who knows far too much about them, saves them from peril, they realize that they might be a part of something much bigger than themselves. They have a destiny, and no matter how hard you try, you can't hide from destiny.





	1. Taako and Lup Quit Their Fuckin Jobs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowie to the surprise of probably no one that follows me on tumblr i'm starting a taz fic. yes i have three other wips for a completely different fandom, but impulse control is not something i've put a lot of stock in sooooooooo
> 
> here's this lol

The thing about working at Costco, was that Lup’s ears fucking hurt. She bit her lip and tightened her grip on the broom she was holding. She felt the palms of her hands flare up, but the fear of being discovered was enough to tamper the magic almost immediately.

Taako, of course, loved this gig. He had immediately gotten drafted to the food court, serving up reheated pretzels with a dazzling smile. Lup, scrappy, snarly, and rougher around the edges was stuck on janitorial duties. In closer circles (which were few and far between) people realized that Lup was actually the more personable of the twins - Taako was just better at pulling bullshit. Or maybe he had more fun with it. Lup could con her way out of anything when it counted.

The flimsy enchantment that the twins had placed on their ears - strong enough to work, weak enough not to set off any detectors - didn’t actually change the material space that they took up, so the greater half of their ears were tucked away under ugly hats with the Costco logo on them.

Lup despised this job, as she despised most jobs, but she did recognize that it wasn’t even close to the worst place they’d worked. It paid the bills, and the manager had enough of his own shit to hide that he didn’t ask questions when the twins turned up with no references and completely fake documents. Not that anyone could tell the documents were faked. Taako’s forgeries were impeccable.

Lup pushed the broom forward, aimlessly kicking air around on the same patch of floor she’d been working on for several minutes. She glanced up, catching Taako’s eye. Lup never really moved around much, it was one of the reasons why she was so bad at her job, she always needed to have Taako in her line of sight.

He winked at her before returning to a line of customers, a grin on his face. She could see the small gap between his teeth - one of the few differentiating factors between them. Lup exhaled. If he was happy, she was happy. She could deal with Costco.

The grating store jingle filtered through tinny speakers as someone walked in. Lup cast a sly glance towards the entrance, which was something else she liked to keep in her line of sight.

“Shit,” She cursed under her breath. Officer Hurley Ravenson walked through the sliding glass doors, arm-in-arm with her wife, Sloane.

 _Taako_ , Lup thought, staring daggers at the back of his head.

Taako’s voice rattled through her mind, faking a gasp. _Lup! Are you using_ magic _? I might have to report you to the authorities for this!_

 _Yeah that might be easier than you’d expect. Sloane and Hurley, on your five_.

 _Fuck me_.

“I’m taking my break!” Taako said, his voice crackling through the walkie talkie. Their manager started to protest, but before he could get too winded, Lup radioed in as well.

“Me too!” She said.

“I swear to God,” Their manager, Garfield, said. “If you two shits skip out on me, you are fired. You hear that? Fucking fired. Not just fired, banned! From all Costcos! Forever! Do you understand that? Lup? Taako!?”

But the twins were already gone.

“I liked that job,” Taako said, fiddling with one of the many brackets on his wrists.

“We’ll get a better one,” Lup said.

Taako shrugged. “Yeah. Working fucking sucks anyways.”

“Let’s go find the kid. Do you think he stayed where we left him?”

“Not. A. Chance.”

 

—-

 

They’d been picking pockets on the subway when they found him.

Taako had been shoved up against some guy with a fancy suit and a fancier tie, and he’d just nimbly slipped his fingers into the dude’s pocket, pulling a few bills out of his leather wallet. He moved on and sat down, when some pipsqueak who couldn’t have been older than ten sat down next to him.

“Excuse me, sir?” He said.

“Are you talking to me pumpkin?” Taako said. His words were neutral, but his tone was dismissive.

“Yes. Um, I just wanted to say, It’s not nice to steal.”

“Fucking what?” Taako glared at the kid, sizing him up. His glasses were too big for his face, and he was inexplicably wearing a suit. Taako didn’t like him.

“Stealing. From people. It’s not nice. Nor is it legal.”

“Yeah? Well what are you going to do about it?”

“Well. I’m a little boy. And I can yell and yell. Or maybe I can tell the nice man with the nice tie what you took out of his wallet, and he can deal with it. Or… you could just hand me what you took and I can take it to the proper authorities.”

“Are you trying to stick me - me, Taako - are you trying to stick me up?”

“I’m not going to answer that,” The kid said. He sniffed.

“What’s your name kid?”

“Angus McDonald, sir, world’s greatest detective.”

“Well, Agnes -“

“Angus.”

“Agnes, today is your lucky day. Because I’m going to teach you the first rule of thievery.”

“And what’s that, sir?”

“Always have backup,” Lup said from the other side of Angus. In a fluid motion, she pulled the wand he had concealed on a lanyard tucked into his shirt.

“I think that the ‘proper authorities’ would be more interested in a magic user than in two pick pockets,” Lup said. “Hell, they might even give us a reward.”

Angus went white. “Puh-please give that back! It’s not mine, I’m just… it’s evidence! For a case!”

Lup tossed it to Taako. Angus tried to catch it, but failed. Taako twirled it around between his fingers.

“Second lesson - hiding your illegal magic items in your shirt is a rookie mistake. You need something discreet.” He glanced over at the umbrella that Lup was holding.

“I’m sorry I tried to take your money! Please don’t tell anyone about me!” He looked like he was going to cry.

“It’s no big deal, thug,” Taako said, handing Angus back his wand. Suddenly, he grabbed him by the lapels and pulled him close, his voice turning dangerous. “Just don’t try and fuck with me, my sister, or my money ever again.”

He released Angus just as fast as he’d grabbed him, and then his neutral, sort of stupid looking smile was back on his face. The subway jolted to a stop.

“Well. I do believe this is our stop!” Lup said, standing up. She held out her arm, and Taako took it, grabbing the umbrella as well. He twirled it around casually as they walked off the train.

“Nice to meet you, Ango!” He called.

 

—

 

Sloane stared at the angry looking toothy seven year olds in front of her. She blinked a few times, making sure that her vision wasn't going double.

“Twins,” She stated, rather dumbly.

“Yes,” Her supervisor said. “They were found stealing from a temple of Istus.” One of the twins rolled their eyes. “They say their names are Lup and Taako,” He pointed at the one on the left and the one on the right. The one on the right sighed.

“Taako,” She said, pointing at the one on the left, “And Lup.” She pointed at herself. “It’s not that hard, dipshit. One of us is a boy,” She pointed again at the one on her left, “And one of us is a girl.”

Sloane’s supervisor paid Lup no mind. “Apparently they used to live with their Aunt, but her house… burned down. And all of the records were destroyed.”

“O…kay…” Sloane said. She made a mental note to ask Hurley about any recent house fires. Maybe someone had come to claim the insurance, and she could find their family that way. “Do they have a lost name?”

Her supervisor looked at the twins, who looked at each other.

“Taaco,” They said, then burst out laughing.

“… Taaco,” Sloane said. “Lup… and Taako… Taaco.”

“Yup.” The boy, Taako, said, then started laughing again. Sloane noticed a sizable gap between his two front teeth.

“Good luck,” Her supervisor said, clapping her on the shoulder.

Great. Sloane’s first case, and she was saddled with two kleptomaniac twins who wouldn’t tell her their last name and looked at her like they wanted to light her on fire.

“I didn’t know that boy and girl twins could be identical,” She said, trying to make polite conversation.

The twins shut down the moment that she spoke. They fixed her with an even harder look than that they’d worn when she came in. “Well,” Taako said. “They can.”

 

—

 

Lup was nine years old when she realized she could read her brother’s mind. They’d been doing it well before that, but they hadn’t connected the dots. Sometimes Taako would say something to Lup, or Lup would say something to Taako, but neither would say it out loud. They were used to being ignored, and to only really talking to each other, that they simply hadn’t noticed.

“Lup!” The teacher said. “What’s forty five divided by nine?”

Lup rolled her eyes. She could do times tables in her sleep. Because she and Taako had bounced around so much, they’d been labeled “problem children” and were stuck in all the dumb kid classes. They’d tried to complain to Sloane - this was before they’d realized she was completely useless - but it was to no avail. She knew they were sort of odd kids, sort of quirky and abrasive, but that didn’t mean they were stupid.

“Five,” She mumbled, not bothering to look up at the teacher.

“Lup?” The teacher asked. “Lup Taaco, if you don’t answer me right now I will send you to the principal’s office.”

“She said five!” Taako protested.

The teacher rolled her eyes. “Taako, what have I told you about lying? Both of you, just… principal’s office. Now.”

Taako was still complaining as Lup grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the class. Once they were in the hallway, she released him.

“But! Lup! You said it! I heard you!” He stomped a foot on the ground. “This place is so stupid! I hate it. When are we gonna leave?”

“Taako, wait, Taako,” Lup said. “ _You_ heard me. But nobody else did. But _you_ did.”

“Yeah…?”

She raised her eyebrows. Realization dawned on his face.

“Oh my god. Are you saying… I read your…”

“You read my mind!”

“I read your mind!”

The twins broke out into huge smiles and clasped hands, doing a little dance in the hallway.

“Holy shit!” Lup exclaimed.

“Holy shit!” Taako agreed. “Wait,” He said. “But what about the sensors? Won’t they go off?”

“They’ve never before. It must be so weak that it doesn’t set anything off.”

“Still… we should probably be careful…”

_You got it, Koko!_

Taako broke out into a wide smile.

 

\---

 

Taako and Lup were born in a building on fire. A young elf woman sat on a dirty floor staring at her husband and her sister while the flames engulfed the rafters. They knew they couldn’t leave. Even if they could it wouldn’t be safe.

Her sister’s eyes darted around.

“Don’t even think about it,” She said through clenched teeth, as she screamed again. “I didn’t go through all this shit to get bombed out of the fucking sky because of magic sensors.”

“But I could just -”

“No.” She screamed again, squeezing her sister’s hand.

“Oh my god,” Her husband exclaimed. “I think… I think I see something!”

Lup was born first. Taako came two minutes later.

Lup’s first wail was drowned out by the sound of a beam falling from the ceiling. The twins started crying, and suddenly, the fire was gone. The magic washed over the three adult elves like a blanket. It felt like diving into a cool pool on a hot summer’s day. For a second, there was relief.

And then, alarms.

The twins’ mother handed her children to her sister.

“Go,” She said.

“What are you talking about? I can’t -”

“We don’t have time for this shit!” Her husband drew his wand. They heard distant shouts and footsteps. She stared at her younger sister, her blonde hair plastered to her face from all the sweat. “You need to leave. Keep them safe.”

She nodded emphatically.

“And,” Their mother said. “Lup, Taako, my babies, give them hell for me.”

She drew her wand, blood still pooling around her body, and by the time she looked back after firing off a magic missile, her sister was gone.

 

\---

 

The first spell that Taako ever learned could hardly even be classified as a spell. Which was a good thing, because spells that were low enough effort couldn’t be detected by the sensors. And not being detected was what “Disguise Self” was all about.

“Okay Taako,” His aunt said, kneeling down next to him. He knew she was younger than most of the kids in his kindergarten’s parents or aunts, but he’d never thought much about it. Kneeling down next to him, her hair pulled up in a sloppy bun and a loose shirt falling off her shoulder, she looked like a child.

“Just… wave your hand… and think. Really think. But not too hard! But… hard enough. Just… I… fuck. I mean! Shit! I mean! Um… are you sure you don’t want me to do it?”

“Nah, Auntie T. I got it.”

Lup stood behind him, pulling his hair back with her small, pudgy hands. Their aunt had already done her ears.

Taako stared at himself in the mirror, hardening his eyes.

“I cast Disguise Self,” He said, in what he hoped was a confident voice. His aunt told him it was all about convincing the magic inside you that you were the boss, not it. He waved his hands around his ears, and watched in excitement as they shrunk down from huge, floppy, pointed elf ears to small, rounded human ears.

“I’m… I’m… my ears are gross!” He exclaimed. “I did it!”

His aunt smiled wide, her eyes crinkling up. “Hell yeah, little man.”

He turned around and hugged Lup tightly, laughing openly.

This was a time when Taako could feel freely. It was before he’d learned that you couldn’t trust anyone but yourself, and your twin. Before Taako understood why he needed to hide his pointed ears and magical prowess.

 

\---

 

Lup stared at Sloane as she explained their “situation” to the teacher.

Yes they were foster children. No she couldn’t find any family. No she didn’t have any records. They had all burned down. It really was weird, wasn’t it? They were kind of difficult, sorry. Here’s her number in case anything happens.

Lup didn’t hate Sloane. Not yet. She still trusted her, which was stupid. She still trusted most people, which was stupid. But she was trying not to. She had to do what her aunt had told her.

“Lup. Light it up. Light it all up. And then run like hell. And don’t. Trust. Anyone.”

She wondered when her aunt was going to pick them up. She didn’t like where they were staying. It was crowded, and the lady who ran the place got upset if Lup climbed into Taako’s bed or vise versa.

The teacher stared down at the twins. Her hair was pulled into a bun that was so tight it looked painful.

“Hullo,” Lup said.

Taako crossed his eyes and stuck out his tongue, then giggled. Lup giggled as well. The teacher did not giggle.

It was as if someone had tattooed “Problem Child” in big red letters on their foreheads. No matter where they went, no matter how many schools or how many homes, it was always the same.

Trouble makers. Dumb kids. Traumatized. Difficult. Flight risks. Problem children.

At some point, the twins stopped trying to fight it. It was easier to be underestimated. Lup spit acid off of her tongue at every opportunity, and Taako played dumb, playing games with himself to see how far he could carry the act. They flunked every test. They skipped school. They realized that trying to live up to some bullshit “potential” that the aunt who’d abandoned them had talked about was useless. They didn’t need to prove anything to anyone.

 

\---

 

“Are you doing dinner tonight, or should I?” Lup asked, kicking a rock as they walked down a back alley.

“You can take it. I’ll start combing through the classifieds.”

Lup nodded. She started to take a mental stock of all of the food they had. She could probably whip up a banger beef stroganoff with a garlic veggie saute.

“Do you think we need to move? If Sloane was here…”

Taako shook his head. “We got a good thing going. Besides, she didn’t see us. Taako’s good out here. Moving would be exhausting.

“Yeah,” Lup agreed. “Especially with the kid.”

“We could always just ditch him in the middle of the night.”

“He’d just track us down. Again.”

They both smiled. They knew that there was no way in hell they would leave Angus behind.

“It’s risky, though,” Taako said.

“If things get completely wanged, I’m pretty sure we could take Sloane.”

Taako nodded. “We’re fine,” He said, trying to convince himself as much as he was her.

“We’re fine,” Lup said, though her voice was laced with uncertainty. They were fine. They’d always been fine and they’d always be fine.

 

\---

 

Contrary to popular belief - or at least contrary to the belief of the twins - Sloane Ravenson was not an evil person. An occasionally morally gray person, sure, but she truly believed that was all behind her. She’d turned over a new leaf. She’d gotten married, and, inspired by Hurley, had taken a job in public service. Sure the life of a social worker wasn’t as glamorous as being a deputy detective for the Goldcliffe PD, but Sloane thought she was good at it. She thought she could really help those kids. That was, until her first day of work.

“I am… terrible at this,” She said, dramatically walking into their modest apartment. She dropped her back on the floor and slammed the door shut, then flopped onto the couch, staring at the small cherry blossom on the coffee table.

“Terrible at what?” Hurley asked, pausing the racing game she was playing. She got out of her beanbag chair and sat on the couch with her wife.

“Socially working.”

“Why?”

“My first day the saddle me with these two twins who seemingly materialized out of thin air - like they don’t even having fucking birth certificates - and tell me to track down some family members. I’m like… okay fine. This is great. But it’s not great. First of all, the kids fucking hate me. They barely talk to me, and when they do it’s like they’re in on some joke that I don’t get. I left them alone for three minutes and they fucking ransacked my office. I don’t even know if they gave me a real last name!”

“They’re scared. Probably fuckin’ traumatized or something.” Hurley smoothed Sloane’s hair. “Give it some time. It’ll get better. They’ll love you. How could they not?”

Pretty damn easily, as it turned out.


	2. Magnus Burnsides Gets A Job Offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i love when ao3 bugs out so that no one sees that i published the first chapter >.<

Taako swiped the key card into their little suite at the Extended Stay Motel 27. “Yo Angles!” He called out. “You in here!” 

“In the tub, sir!” Came the response. Neither Lup nor Taako were sure why, but one of Angus’ favorite spots was the bathtub. He would sit there, fully clothed and completely dry, and read, or write, or listen to podcasts on the shitty iPod that Taako had lifted for him.    
“Rad,” Taako said. He flopped onto his and Lup’s bed, the old springs groaning in protest. He summoned their shitty laptop to himself, ignoring the voice in his head chiding him about using magic, and pulled up Craigslist. 

Lup walked over of the kitchenette and started pulling things out of the minifridge. She grabbed some mismatched owls and utensils and started a fire on their shitty gas stove. 

“Hey Ango, I’m thinking beef stroganoff and sauteed garlic veggies. Sound chill?”

“Hell yeah!” Angus replied. Lup smiled to herself, pleased that some of the twins’ vernacular was rubbing off on  Angus. The little pipsqueak was too proper for his own good. 

The Extended Stay Motel was definitely not the worst place that Lup and Taako had lived, but it wasn’t the best either. What it was was theirs. No one had chosen it for them, no one had dumped them there. There were no rules or dirty looks or feeling like you couldn’t touch anything. There was no worrying about needing to pack up at a moment’s notice. They could leave the place good and messy, the way that the liked it. They could stay up late, or sleep in, they could cook whatever whenever. They made the rules. 

Maybe that’s why Lup ignored the feeling in her gut when she saw Sloane. Or why she ignored the unease when she was walking home. Maybe that’s why she didn’t tell Taako and Angus “pack your shit, we’re leaving right now.” Because they had made something. They had carved out a little life for themselves, and Lup wanted to fool herself into thinking that it could be permanent. 

Of course, she was too smart for that. 

 

\---

 

When they were thirteen, they stayed with a scientist. Maureen’s set up was one of the nicer places. She was sweet, if not a little busy. Taako and Lup wondered why she was a foster mom, it didn’t seem she had any time for it. Later they learned she was apparently an old friend of a friend of Sloane’s. Sloane had asked her to take the twins so they didn’t end up in a group home again. They always acted out when they were in group homes. Mostly they were just trying to get kicked out. Group homes were stupidly segregated by gender, and Taako and Lup were  _ not chill _ with living in separate places. 

The worst thing about living with Maureen was probably her biological son, Lucas. And he wasn’t even that bad, just sort of annoying. If anything, he made good prank fodder. 

“Morning nerd-lord,” Lup said as Lucas walked into the kitchen. His hair was a mess, and his glasses were skewed. The twins, of course, looked fabulous, despite it being seven in the morning. 

“Can you… can you not call me that?” 

She didn’t dignify that question with a response, choosing instead to dish up some perfectly poached eggs onto the plate she was fixing for him. Taako flipped some fluffy pancakes onto the plate as well. He set it down in front of Lucas. 

“Is Maureen coming?” He asked. 

Lucas shrugged, then yawned. “Probably not. She was up late. Working.”

Lup cocked an eyebrow. “On elevators.”

“On planar systems! She’s breaking the barriers of what we know about… parallel universes… and… and…”

_ And she’s getting a lot of the math wrong.  _

Lup rolled her eyes at Taako’s comment. 

“We get it, Lucas. Your mother is doing veeeeeeeeery important work,” Taako said.

They did get it. Sometimes, at night, the twins would sneak into Maureen’s lab and read her work. If they simply asked her if they could see her work, she probably would’ve said yes, but they never did. Asking people for things was not their M.O. And if they told Maureen they were interested in math, she would tell Sloane, and Sloane would ask why they were suddenly showing an interest in academia when they had abysmal grades and even worse attendance records. 

Lucas stared at Taako. “I get the feeling you’re being sarcastic.” He made an exasperated sound. “Are you two actually coming to school today? You know how my mother gets on my ass when you ditch.”

“Sounds like a you problemo bubbeleh.”

Lucas rolled his eyes. “You know, maybe if you paid as much attention to school as you did to your… hair or whatever, you wouldn’t have so many issues.”

Lup narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists. She felt the curl of a flame in the bottom of her throat. 

Taako laughed the comment off. “I don’t know, homie. When the numbers and the letters get together my brain goes out the window. At least I’m pretty.” 

“As if you had a brain in the first place,” Lup said. 

_ Laying it on a little thick there, Lulu. _

Lup turned around and stuck her tongue out at her brother. 

If they wanted to, the twins could have been the most popular kids in school. It was a combination of intrigue, personality, and natural elven charm. Usually they were worried more with survival than social status, but sometimes, if things were good, they would indulge. With Maureen, things were good, and the twins charm careened them into the position of Co-Queen Bees. 

Taako had his first kiss when they were with the Millers. Lup played a prank that would be remembered for years to come, some say it’s still whispered about. Taako became president of the Cooking Club. Lup beat Lucas out as president of the Science Club, but turned down the position and made every swear to secrecy that it ever happened. She just wanted to prove to herself that she could do it. 

They stayed with Maureen and Lucas Miller for almost a year. 

“Eleven months, two weeks, and four days,” Lup announced one day, walking into the twins’ room. Maureen had a big house and had offered them their own rooms, but they declined. “At least let me give you your own beds,” she said. The twins agreed, but what was technically Taako’s bed was mostly used as an extension of their closet. Both of the twins disappeared at random, always making sure to leave a note or something for the other. Lup went off on her own more than Taako. When she came back, she always smelled of fire. 

“That’s almost a year,” Taako commented, not looking at her. He was seated on their vanity, curling his hair. He didn’t have any enchantments on him, and Lup could see his long, pointed, floppy ears sticking out for every god to see. While his face betrayed nothing, she could see his ears twitch with worry. 

“A year is too long,” Lup said. 

“I know.” 

“We can’t get attached.”

“I know.” 

She shut her eyes. “But I really don’t want to leave.” 

“I know.” 

Lup shook out her hair, silently taking the enchantment off of her ears and letting them loose. 

“Maybe we could stay a little longer?” 

“Lulu.” Taako set down the curling iron. “I know you want to stay. I do, too. But you’re the one that brought up how long we’ve been here in the first place.” 

She rubbed her eyes. A year was their limit. A year kept them safe. It kept them detached and sharp and moving. Besides, when they stayed longer than a year… bad things happened. The twins had Bad Luck, and they could only stay ahead of it for so long. 

“We could stay,” She said. “We could. The… the year long limit is something we came up with.”

“For a reason! It was something that was your idea in the first place!”

“But -”

“Fine. We can stay.”

“What?”

“We can stay here, and become fucking Taako and Lup Miller! We’ll grow up and be nerdy-ass scientists with full bellies and soft beds. On one condition.”

Lup could tell when her brother was setting her up for something, but she still took the bait. “And what is that?”

“We go downstairs right now and tell Maureen.” 

“What?”

“Right now.” Taako raised a hand to his ear and tugged on it. “Like this.” 

“Fuck.”

“Oh, what? Do you not want to? Because it isn’t nice to keep such a huge secret from  _ family _ -”

“I get it, Taako!” 

Taako deflated. “I know it’s nice here. But… it’s not real. We can’t trust them. If… if you thought we could trust them, I would support you. I would go downstairs and I would show her my… my fucking cantrips and I would stay here forever because I trust you. But…”

“I don’t trust them.” Lup said. “I trust  _ you _ . Full stop. The lists of people that Lup trusts consists of Taako and Taako alone.” 

Taako nodded. “So. When do we leave?” 

They left two weeks later. Over the next few school days they’d started bring clothes and things to school, and hiding them in their lockers. On the last day, they left their books buried at the bottom of their closets, filling their bags with everything they could carry. Taako also grabbed Maureen’s credit card. At 10:58 am, the twins simultaneously left their classes. They chose to leave during the one class that neither of them had together or with Lucas. They cleaned out their lockers, shoving all of their things into a contraband Bag of Holding that Lup had nabbed last time she was in the sheriff’s office. They would destroy it as soon as they could buy some bags other than their backpacks, it was too risky to carry a magic item around. 

They left through the window of the girls bathroom. It would’ve been easier to magick their way out, but the school bugged with censors wall to wall. Then they took the bank card, withdrawing as much money as they possible could without the bank getting suspicious and calling Maureen. Thankfully, because Maureen was so loaded, it would last them a while. 

Then they bought new luggage, and the credit card, their phones, and the bag of holding went up in flame. By the time Lucas got out of school, they were two towns over. 

Four days later, Lup was sitting outside a bar as Taako flirted with some guy inside, charming him for as much shit as possible. Sometimes it was less intimidating if only one of them went in, but the other was always in range. Lup grabbed a newspaper off of a nearby stand, flipping through it nonchalantly. 

Her eyes caught a small story. 

**Miller Lab Explosions - Renowned Scientist Killed**

**Tragedy struck last night when the high tech Miller lab suddenly exploded. Head scientist, Maureen Miller, was working late, and was the only casualty. Police suspect foul play.**

Lup closed her eyes. The paper turned to ash in her hand. The Bad Luck had found them - again. 

 

\---

 

Magnus Burnsides blew into the town of Raven’s Roost like a goddamn hurricane, but that was nothing compared to the way that he left it. He had spent his whole life chasing glory, and finally, he had found it. And better than that, he had found her. Julia. She turned him from someone who wanted to be remembered to someone who wanted to help. They could’ve won the whole war together, and had come so close to doing it. 

But he played dirty. 

He betrayed them. 

Sure, they had betrayed him first, but that was no excuse. No excuse for what he had done. He knew Magnus wasn’t there. This wasn’t about killing off potential threats, this was about hurting Magnus. Hurting Magnus by hurting the people that he loved. 

He cradled Julia in his arms, listening for something… anything. The faintest breath or softest hartbeat. Something to show she wasn’t completely gone. 

Magnus was too consumed by his grief to notice someone had joined him. Two someones, in fact. 

“Excuse me?” A voice said. Magnus startled, looking up at them with wide eyes, ready to draw his ax or his fists. He was in the mood for a fight. 

“What do you want?!” 

“There’s no need for hostility,” Another voice said, a woman this time. “We want to help you. If you’ll let us. But we’ll need some help from you as well. Are you willing to make an agreement?”

Magnus picked up Julia’s body, and stood to his full height. He looked down at the two figures, one holding a staff, the other dressed in stiff blue denim. Both of their faces were obscured by expensive looking red robes. 

“I’ll do anything,” He said. 


	3. Someone Makes An Entrance

They were seven years old when Roswell found them. Roswell had gotten a message from an old friend telling them to take a trip to Neverwinter, ASAP. At first they’d been confused, but they trusted Magnus with anything. 

“Just… hang around like… dumpsters and shit? Okay? I dunno. Shady corners. Anywhere you can think someone scared and alone would hide.” 

“... Oh… kay… and what exactly am I looking for…?”

“Junebug, Ros. Just do it.” 

Junebug was a code from their old war days. It meant “don’t ask questions, just be cool.” 

A few days into this weird-ass mission, Roswell heard some scuffling from a corner. They shoved a dumpster out of the way, ready to attack whatever foe Magnus needed them to dispose of, but were instead confronted with two children. No, wait, two  _ elf _ children. They were flea bitten and ragged, with patched of hair missing and messy clothes. Criminally underweight. Rosewell stared into the full, hungry eyes of these two children for a fat ten seconds before they both took off running. 

“Magnus,” They said, calling him up while desperately chasing after the children. “I think I found something!” 

Taako and Lup didn’t talk about what happened between the time their aunt’s house burned down and they were put into the system. In all honesty, they didn’t really remember most of it. Sometimes there are things that it’s better to forget. All that they knew, was ever since the first night that they were in custody, they couldn’t sleep without one of them waking up screaming. 

 

\---

 

_ Taako _ Lup thought, staring at her brother over Ango’s head. Hopefully he was too wrapped up in his dinner to notice. 

_ I thought we had a no-mind-messaging-during-dinner-policy  _ Takko responded.  _ This is an open door sort of family. Mostly because we all share one room. _

_ Yeah, which is why you know this is important.  _

_ Okay. Taako is all ears. Or… well… all mind. Spill it, bubbeleh. _

_ Taako, how long - _

“Can you two please stop doing that?” Angus snapped - or, snapped as much as Angus McDonald was capable of snapping. 

“Doing what, pumpkin?” Taako asked, playing dumb. And if Taako was playing to anyone other than Angus McDonald, world’s greatest detective, it probably would’ve worked. 

“Talking to each other in your heads. It’s really rude, sir and ma’am.” 

Taako was about to argue, but Lup stepped in. 

“You’re right, little dude. We’re sorry about that.” She took a deep breath. “Taako, how long has it been?” 

“How long has what been?”

“Since we… moved here, I guess. Since we settled down at the motel.”

“I dunno, about a -”

“Three hundred and sixty three days,” Angus interjected. 

“ - year,” Taako finished. 

The twins stared at each other, eyes widening in horror. 

“What’s wrong?” Angus asked. “What’s going on?” 

“I’ve been feeling off all day,” Lup said. 

“Ango, pack your shit. Anything that doesn’t fit in a back, leave it. We need to go, now.” Taako scrambled up from the table, pulling things out of cabinets and dressers. Lup started to do the same, one hand resting on the hilt of the twins’ shared umbrella. Angus didn’t understand, but he quickly sprang into action, doing as he was told. He didn’t have to be a world class detective to know that Lup and Taako were not fucking around. 

After about ten minutes, they had assembled all of their belongings. Trying to look casual, they walked out of the motel room, leaving the keys shut inside. Taako and Lup were holding hands, squeezing for dear life, as if they could hold their carved out happiness between their hands and keep it safe. Taako’s other hand was clasped around Angus, while Lup’s was around the umbrella. 

One of the biggest issues with the Bad Luck was that it was never consistent. It would be so much easier if it was some creeping, terrible darkness waiting to engulf them. That was they would know what was coming. But it was all different things. Sometimes it was a fire, or an explosion, a car accident, a thief, someone at a bar who got particularly handsy, someone who say something they shouldn’t. Sometimes the bad luck didn’t wait a year. Sometimes it was evident from the start, and they just had to suffer until they could escape. A bad foster home, being stuck on the streets, some shitty boarding school, juvy, a bad boyfriend. They got good at telling when things were off. 

All of Lup’s internal alarms went off when she walked out of the motel room. She blinked a few times, trying to figure out what she was feeling, and then she saw them. The soldiers. So many soldiers. Far more than normal, far more than necessary. They had censors, and guns, and cuffs that diffused magic once put on. Gear that was particularly tailored to catch elves. They’d been made. 

Lup glanced at Taako. She couldn’t risk the magic that mind-messaging used, so she hoped he understood purely from twin-intuition. Twintution if you will. 

Thankfully, he did. 

“We’re fucked.”

“Thoroughly wanged.” 

“On my mark, we run.”

“You take out the soldiers.”

“You take care of Angus.” 

The didn’t even get to take one step forward until the world exploded into chaos. A soldier noticed them, firing his gun. Taako transmuted the bullet into a grape, and then he and Angus hit the floor. Lup was firing off fireballs and magic missiles. Taako cast a mage hand, knocking down one of the soldiers. But they were surrounded. They couldn’t fight their way out of this. 

Taako picked up Angus, relying on his elven speed and senses to get them out of their. He could feel Lup right behind him, firing off spells as they went. 

Unfortunately, after years of hiding them, Taako’s elven senses were a bit rusty, and they hit a dead end. There were still about fifteen men behind them. Soon, they would find Angus and the twins. They were dead. They were fucking dead. 

They heard heavy footsteps, and a soldier rounded the corner. When he saw them, his eyes went wide. He drew his gun and opened his mouth to shout, and fell to the ground. 

For just when the world seemed darkest, it turned a shade of brilliant red. A young man materialized out of seemingly nowhere, brandishing an impressively well made staff. 

“Hi,” He said. “My name is Barry Bluejeans. I’m here to save you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know the chapter is short but i really wanted to end it like that lol


	4. Angus McDonald Is A Master Sleuth and Wonderful Boy

Angus stared at the elf twins as the excited the train. Then, in a rare stroke of brilliant impulsiveness, he ran off the train and barrelled after them. 

“Hey! Suh… Sir! Ma’am! Wait!” 

But they were nowhere to be found. 

Lesser children would’ve given up. But then again, lesser children wouldn’t have caught them pickpocketing, or seen through their nearly flawless disguise. And lesser children were not the world’s greatest detective. So, Angus McDonald set his shoulders, and began to look for clues. 

 

\---

 

Magnus woke up with a black eye, a killer headache, and no idea where he was. He sat up on the expertly crafted wooden bench he had passed out on, and wrapped his flimsy jacket tighter around his body, bracing himself against the wind chill. 

He rubbed sleep out of his eyes, and tried to access his surroundings. Before he could properly finish his assessments, he heard the telltale sound of a fight. A girl with a bandana tied around her ponytail was expertly laying into a pair of assholes twice her size. She could definitely handle it, but a little help never hurt anyone. Magnus stood up, cracked his knuckles, and rushed in. 

 

\---

 

When Taako was sixteen, he went to jail. It was mostly Hurley’s doing. No more Mrs. Nice Deputy. She’d been shielding the twins from Captain Bane’s wrath for years on account of how that would blow back on Sloane (and, on account of the fact that she really,  _ really _ cared about them), but they couldn’t go around thinking they were invincible. They couldn’t pretend they were above the law. 

Taako had been caught stealing, again - people thought that Lup was the troublemaker, but Taako was a major kleptomaniac - and this time, Hurley let him get taken to the slammer. It, as most things did when someone tried to control the “Taaco” twins, backfired. 

Taako was only in for one night. Originally it was going to be three, but then Lup stormed into Hurley and Sloane’s house during dinner, sat on their table, and started cussing them out. Usually they wouldn’t relent to the will of a sixteen year old girl, but Lup was nothing if not persistent. 

Of course, the one night that Taako was stuck in jail also happened to be the one night that the local news station was doing a piece on Captain Bane. As they were filming the holding cell area for an establishing shot, Taako somehow got out of his cell (he used some minor magic, but no one needed to know about that. Especially not Hurley) and interrupted the live shot, loudly and obnoxiously making his television debut. From then on, he was known as “Taako from TV!” 

Well, he was only known as that to himself and Lup, but they were the only two people that really mattered to him anyway. 

 

\---

 

For Lup’s ninth birthday, Taako gave her a violin. He told her that he stole it. It was one of the few lies he ever told his sister. And he wasn’t even sure it was a lie. It made sense that he stole it. That was how he got most things. But then again, when he was nine, he wasn’t that skilled yet. And a violin was a big job, even for him. If he thought about it, it just didn’t make sense. And then if he thought about it harder, nothing made sense. 

So he stole Lup’s violin. And they kept it with them, miraculously, for eight years. If Lup really thought about it, she didn’t understand how they got it out of the Miller’s house. In fact, she felt as though she remembered making the decision to leave it there, because it was too difficult to conceal. But, then again, it was there at the next foster home, and then the one after that, and the one after that, all the way until the motel. So she must have taken it with her. Somehow. 

Lup had fallen in love with the violin when she was three. In a rare moment of financial prosperity and relative stability, their aunt took them to see a high school symphony. All in all, the concert was terrible, but there was one girl there, playing the violin, who was brilliant. Her melody stuck out from the rest of the music, wrapping around Lup’s heart and never letting go. She and Taako were usually restless children, but she sat still that entire concert, her mind, ears, and heart trained on the violin. She begged for a violin for years after that. 

Begged until the fire. After the fire, it took Lup a long time to ever ask for anything. But Taako never forgot. 

They had struck a deal when they were four. Even birthdays were Taako’s birthdays, and odd birthdays were Lup’s birthdays. That way they could get one expensive present rather than two cheap ones. And they got an entire day all for themselves. They were good at sharing everything, except for attention. 

The night before Lup’s birthday, Taako snuck out to find her a present. They were staying with some unremarkable people in an unremarkable home that they only ended up being in for a few weeks. The only thing worth remembering was the violin. Taako wasn’t sure why he felt the compulsion to sneak out, but he did. So he did. 

He walked for a few minutes, taking random twists and turns, like his feet knew something he didn’t. Eventually he came across a young man, no older than eighteen, who was leaning against a building, playing a violin. He opened his eyes slightly, and then fully when he noticed Taako. His glum demeanor brightened considerably. 

“Taako!” He exclaimed. “Where’s Lup?” 

Taako took a step back. How did this man know his name. “Who’s Taako?” He asked. 

The man faltered. “C’mon Taako, don’t play dumb. I’m not going to hurt you. This is amazing! I was just… playing, hoping that you would hear me, and you did! Eotqehcq is going to be so proud!”

“Who’s going to be proud?” 

“Oh, right, that. Don’t worry, we’ll fix it soon. Just… grab Lup and we can get going!” 

“No way. Stranger danger, thug. I’m not going anywhere with you!” 

“Taako -” 

He stopped, and straightened, his eyes trained on something that Taako couldn’t see. Taako looked around wildly, trying to comprehend what the everloving fuck was going on. 

“Oh,” The man said, looking sadder than before. “I’m sorry Taako.” He put his violin in the case, zipping it up. “Happy birthday.” 

Somewhere, a clock chimed, signalling that it was midnight. Taako blinked, and when he opened his eyes, the man was gone, and only the violin was left. Taako shook his head, feeling foggy and tired. He looked at the violin, not quite understanding what it was, and then something clicked. 

“Holy shit!” He said. “Lup is going to love this!” Taako grabbed the violin and ran all the way back to the foster home, as a story about stealing it off some drunk musician at a bar formed in the back of his mind. 

 

\---

 

Angus thought back to any discernible qualities that the twins had. Aside from their umbrella and their odd clothing, there was… a violin case. Yes! The girl had a violin case. Angus walked determinedly towards town square, a popular place for buskers, and an equally popular place for thieves. It didn’t take long before he saw the elf girl playing on a street corner for an enraptured audience, with a comical top hat set down in front of her. He noticed the elf boy sneaking into the pockets of people around his sister - not those who were her patrons, but other passerbys close enough that the twins never left each other’s sight. A plan slowly formed in Angus’ mind. 

He waited until the sister was finished, almost two hours. Evening began to fall, and it was that weird time in between rush hour and nighttime, when barely anyone was on the street. The elf girl packed her case, and her brother picked up the hat, counting out the contents. 

Angus walked over to the two of them, awkwardly clearing his throat. The girl looked up first. 

“Agnes!” She exclaimed. 

At her voice, the boy looked up as well. “Hachi machi, kid. How’d you track us?”

“That’s not important,” Angus said. “What’s important is, I know that you two are elves, and I’m very interested in how you’ve managed to avoid being murdered for so long.” At the mention of the word elves, both twins got equally dangerous looks on their faces. Angus’ palms started to sweat. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. He held up a fresh 100 dollar bill that he’d conned off a nice old man by convincing him he was his grandson. “Can I buy you dinner?” 

Over the course of a meal that bled into a meal and a dessert that bled into a night at a motel room that bled into a year, the hostility between them faded, and something like camaraderie replaced it. And then something like love replaced that. And slowly, but before their very eyes, Taako and Lup’s little family went from two to three. 

 

\---

 

Roswell did not return with the twins. Neither did Johann. They both said the same thing. 

“It wasn’t time yet.” 

Lucretia was starting to get worried. She had total faith in Lady Istus, of course. She was right about Magnus, she was right about Barry, she’d be right about the twins as well. But the waiting was killing her. Having them so close… it was hard enough to track them down, and then to just let them go? It felt like a knife to the gut. As she tracked them through whatever weak trails she could find, Lucretia couldn’t help but feel they were slipping further and further away from her. 

 

\---

 

“I’m sorry, what?” Lup said, at the same time that Taako said, “Your name is Barry fucking Bluejeans?” 

“Yes - and, I’m here to save you!” 

Lup hated the way he looked at her. Like he knew her. She wanted to slap him in his nerdy face. 

“There’s no way that you are gonna save us, bubbeleh,” Taako said, stepping out from behind Lup. 

“Taako, Lup, please, we don’t have much time -”

“How in the fuck do you know our names?” Lup asked. 

“I will explain that later, just -”

“Uh… sir? Ma’am?” Angus said from behind them. Taako and Lup looked over and saw a hulking convergence of guards. 

“Well,” Taako said. “Our cover is… completely blown to shit. I say…”

Lup cocked an eyebrow. “We raise a little hell?” 

Lup and Taako were brilliant in battle. They learned magic in the shadows, small enchantments that lessened the clack of high heels, little cantrips for when it was too cold and they needed a fire, weak spells it get them out of a bind. There was no reason for them to be as gifted as they were, but like so many things, the twins did not care about reason. 

Lup set of a blinding ray of fire, expertly weaving it so that it would not hurt anyone, simply knock them back so they were unconscious. She was too young to have lives on her hands. Taako pulled a wall out of the ground, trapping two behind it. He created a storm encapsulating three more. 

Spells and blasts and impossible rays and combinations sped off of the twins, who were back to back. They traded off use of the umbrella, both having less powerful personal wands they’d pulled from seemingly out of nowhere. Barry and Angus watched in awe as blows and strikes were hurled their way. They dodged half of them and took the other half in stride, seeming to smirk at the idea that someone thought this was how they perished, in the back alley of a shady street at age seventeen. No. They were too good for that. 

But they weren’t perfect. 

They were at a disadvantage, purposefully weakening spells as to not kill anyone. The soldiers did not have such reservations. Every blow was meant to be a fatal one. Bullets fired. They were not above running into the eye of the storm if it meant taking down the twins. Fourteen on two was not a fair fight. The twins could only win for so long. At one point, in a magnificent but exhausting display of power, Lup pushed all of the men back, displacing them and leaving them temporarily blinded. Barry too his chance. 

He dragged them all down a street, to an alley he’d previously scouted out. 

“What the hell, Barold?” Taako exclaimed, as Lup panted beside him, leaning on his shoulders. They were both in pretty bad shape. 

“We have to go,” Barry said. “Now!” 

Taako glanced at his sister. She didn’t look good. He knew they couldn’t hold out for much longer, but maybe they could escape. 

_ What should we - _

_ No. Don’t. Don’t trust anyone. _

“Sorry, Crimson Wonder, but that’s gonna be a no go,” Taako said. “Come on, Agno.”

“I’m really sorry about this,” Barry said. 

Angus saw him reach into his robe, and at the same time pull the hood up so that it covered his nose and mouth. He pulled out a small bottle. 

“Taako! He’s gonna -”

But the cork was already unscrewed. The last thing Taako, Lup, and Angus saw before passing out was Barry Bluejeans fiddling with the buttons on his metallic bracer. 


	5. Warning - This Chapter Contains The Word Vore. Twice.

It took Sloane two weeks to track down someone who she thought was a relative of the Taaco twins. It would’ve taken less time, but the twins were hellbent on making this as difficult as possible. 

“What was your aunt’s name?” Sloane asked them one day. They were currently staying at a group home for traumatized children. Sloane had them going to therapy everyday, but it seemed they had serious retrograde amnesia of their lives from the time their aunt’s house burned down to when they were found at the temple. 

“T.” Taako said, picking his nose. He was the more talkative of the twins, meaning that he actually talked. Lup barely ever said a word. Now that they had been cleaned up, Sloane could tell them apart easier. Taako had a gap between his front teeth. Lup had more freckles. Taako’s ears were pierced. Lup’s hair was shorter. Taako liked to wear big hats and flashy jewelry, while Lup preferred to accessorize less. They had similar fashion senses, but both dressed uniquely. Somehow their outfits always complimented each other. Taako painted his nails. Lup liked things with flames on them - strange considering how their aunt died. Taako never shut up. Lup never talked. Taako stole things, and Lup destroyed them.

“Her name… was T?”

Taako nodded. “Short for Tia.” 

They were sitting on the same office chair, their hands locked together. They had gained some weight, but were still very small. Sloane guessed they were always going to be naturally skinny. They were very lithe kids, tall for their age. It was easy to tell they were going to be pretty when they grew up. 

Still, somehow Lup was always slightly dirty, and Taako was always a little harried. They were both covered in tiny scars that Sloane never asked about. Taako’s left hand had a burn scar on it, shaped vaguely like another hand. 

“Aunt Tia. Your aunt’s name was Aunt Aunt Taaco.” 

“No,” Taako said. “She was our mommy’s sister. We didn’t have the same last name.” 

Sloane’s eyes brightened. Finally, something useful. 

“Okay, what was her last name?” 

“I dunno. She said we could just call her Tia. Tia Taaco if we wanted.” 

She clenched her fist under the table. 

Lup glared. “We’re not lying, you know,” She said. 

Sloane balked. “I… I didn’t say you were.”

“But you don’t believe us!” 

“I didn’t -”

“That’s what she told us, okay! Her name was Aunt Tia and last names were stupid so she didn’t need them!” 

“Lup, I’m… I’m sorry.” 

Lup’s glare only got more intense. “It doesn’t matter. She’s coming to get us soon anyway.”

Sloane’s eyes softened. She didn’t know how to explain to these kids that their aunt was dead, and had been dead for two years. 

She had been surprised when she was told that the fire that had killed their aunt was two years prior. It was their therapist who had figured it out. Sloane still didn’t understand how these two kids survived on their own for so long. 

Taako went silent. He squeezed his sister’s hand with his left hand and tugged on his blond braid with the other. Sloane noticed it was something he did when he was upset or bored. She wondered if the twins had ADHD.

“Is there anything else you can tell me about your aunt?”

Taako sighed. “She worked at a restaurant. She was a waitress, but should’ve been the chef. She made the best food ever. She let us cook with her even though we were too young. She was young, too. Younger than you. She had pretty hair and would sew us new clothes out of her old ones. She told us that aleingoi ofainewoinetoi fonaow ofifdsj.”

“I’m sorry, what?” 

Taako looked confused for a second. “She let us stay up late and watch TV if we had nightmares.” 

Sloane nodded. Lup cast a worried glance at her brother. 

“You said she was younger than me. Do you know how old she was?”

Taako shook his head. 

“Okay… and… do you know where she worked?” 

Lup’s eyes widened. “Taako, don’t -”

“The Waffle House on 64th street.” 

The Waffle House was an integral part in Sloane’s search. She talked to a manager about an employee using the name “Tia Taaco” who had stopped coming into work two years ago. Thankfully, the manager still had her file. 

A long list of phone calls and record searching lead her to Daniel Chadwick, some distant cousin of the twins. Thankfully, he lived in Neverwinter, and after some monetary negotiations, agreed to take the twins in. 

Sloane and Hurley drove them to Mr. Chadwick’s house. They sat in the backseat with worried looks on their faced and brand new suitcases at their feet. Sloane had bought them the suitcases. She couldn’t send them in with the trashbags that the system provided. She didn’t want the twins to feel like she was abandoning them. She’d still be their social worker and come and check up on them as much as she could. It was important for them to be with family. 

This is the right decision, she told herself. 

This is the right decision, her supervisors told her. 

This is the right decision, Hurley told her. 

But staring at the immaculate lawn and sleek, pointy, not kid friendly model of the house, Sloane couldn’t help but feel she was making the absolute wrong decision. 

 

\---

 

Taako and Lup never asked about Angus’ life before they found him, but if Angus started the conversation, they always listened. They were both, surprisingly, very good listeners. Sometimes Angus would start talking to one of them, and then the other would appear with hot chocolate for him. 

Angus slowly realized that the twins didn’t  _ do _ out right affection. Sometimes, they could be downright mean. But it was the little things, small gestures and small compliments that showed Angus that for all their talk, they were kind and caring people. 

Angus asked the twins a lot of questions about their lives, and while they were usually willing to indulge him in any conversation (even if it was about his Caleb Cleveland novels), they both swiftly shut the topic down as soon as Angus got his question out. 

“Taako,” Angus asked once, while Taako was painting his nails. “Who’s Tia?” Angus had heard Taako screaming someone’s name in middle of night the night before. He thought he could make out the word “Tia.”

Taako chuckled. “Whoa there, Ango-Tango. You gotta be at Taako Backstory Level Seven for that one.”

“What level am I at?” Angus asked. 

Taako seemed to consider this, before saying: “Two.” 

Angus opened his mouth to ask another question, but Taako looked back down at his nails, and Angus could tell the conversation was over. 

Once, Lup had snuck Angus onto the university library. He had mentioned that he wanted to see some talk someone was doing there, and Lup had grabbed a jacket for him and a gloriously nondescript cloak for herself and told him she would take him. After Angus finished attending his talk, he found Lup sitting at one of the tables with a physics book open. She was scribbling furiously in a notebook. 

“What are you doing?” Angus whispered. 

Lup smirked. “Blending in,” She said. “If the nerds think I’m one of them, they won’t suspect me.” 

Angus looked over at her notebook. It was covered in formulas and questions, diagrams and theorems. From what he could tell, everything she’d written down had been correct. As they walked home, Angus noticed both the notebook and the physics book sticking out of Lup’s bag. 

“Lup?” He asked. 

“Sup, little man?” 

“Why do you and Taako pretend you aren’t smart? I mean, you could probably both get scholarships to Neverwinter University if you tried.” 

Lup didn’t even seem to take in the question. 

“Hey Angus,” She said. “Watch this.” Then she proceeded to do a backflip, her cape whooshing magnificently around her body. She stuck the landing, with her hands in double peace signs and her tongue sticking out. 

Angus applauded. He hadn’t forgotten the question, but obviously Lup didn’t want to talk about it. He added another question to his mental tally. Where did Lup and Taako learn all of their sweet flips? 

The twins also refused to confirm any of Angus’ discoveries. They were quick to tell him when a theory was incorrect, but when he got something right, instead of acknowledging it, they would simply incorporate it into their behavior, hiding one less thing from him. 

They never even told him they were elves. But after that day in the diner, they didn’t hide their ears from him if the three of them were in private. 

“Taako,” Angus asked. Taako looked up from his sudoku puzzle. Angus took that as his que to continue. “Did Lup burn your hand?” 

Taako looked down at his left hand. He had a very faint scar, in the shape of a smaller hand. It wrapped around his palm in a way that looked like someone whose hand was on fire had been holding his. 

He looked back up at Angus. 

“Lup has never hurt me on purpose,” He said. His voice steely and confident. 

Angus nodded. So that was a yes. 

 

\---

 

Lup woke with a start, flailing as she sat up quickly. Immediately following her attempt to sit up, she felt at least seven different parts of her body cry out in protest. She hissed silently, assessing her wounds. Grazed shoulder, bruised ribs, a scrape on her face, probably a black eye, sprained ankle, and a killer case of magical exhaustion. 

Just as she was about to survey her surroundings, she noticed Taako spring up as well. He seemed less damaged than she was, but still worse for wear. They locked eyes. She glanced over at Angus, who was still out like a light. It seemed that this chemical was meant to keep them knocked out for longer. Gods bless elven constitution. 

Taako’s voice rang in her head.  _ So. We’ve been kidnapped by someone named Barry Bluejeans. _

_ Oh sweet Fantasy Jesus. If we get kidnapped by a nerd do we like… become nerds by proxy?  _

_ No no no. He can’t like… vore our coolness.  _

_ Never say the word vore again.  _

_ I didn’t say it. I  _ thought _ it.  _

_ Fuck off.  _ She silently flipped him off.  _ I don’t think that Barold has noticed we’re awake yet. What’s the plan?  _

Taako and Lup both glanced at Barry. He was sitting in the front of… wherever they were, nervously jiggling his leg and muttering to himself. Taako’s ears twitched, trying to catch the words. 

“I can’t believe this. Aoaeijge is gonna be so proud of me!” 

_ Did you hear the static too, or was that just me?  _ Lup asked. 

_ I heard it. I say we like… cast sleep or something.  _

_ And then throw him out of this thing?  _

_ Natch.  _

_ Dope. Then we have a… weird white dome thingy to fly around in for a while.  _

_ Lulu. What are we gonna do about the guards? Like… we can’t go back.  _

_ It’s fine. We’ll… fucking figure it out. We always do. But first things first, let’s get the drop on this nerd.  _

Lup searched the dome for her umbrella. It was resting against Barry’s chair. Shit. 

_ Bluejeans stole our fucking umbrella. _

_ I see that. I think he stole our wands, too.  _

_ Son of a bitch.  _ Lup considered her options.  _ We don’t need wands for cantrips.  _

_ Yeah, sure, let’s just prestidigitate him into submission.  _

_ Well I don’t hear you coming up with any plans! _

_ Here’s a plan, we walk over there, and punch him in his stupid face! How about that? How about that thing I said.  _

_ I mean. I guess that works. Not a lot of… panache.  _

_ I think I could punch someone with a fair amount of panache. Cause like… it’s physically impossible for me to do anything without pinache sooooo. _

_ Can you feel me rolling my eyes at you right now? Because I am. I’m rolling my eyes so fucking hard.  _

At that precise moment, Barry Bluejeans decided to turn around. 

“Oh my god!” He said. “You’re up!” 

“Yeah,” Taako said. “Do you want to tell us what in the entire fuck is going on?” 

“I…” He grimaced and then pushed up his glasses. “I can’t. Exactly. It’ll all be explained soon, I promise.”

“How about instead of explaining it soon, you explain it now. That’s always an option.” 

“It’s… it’s really not. Like it literally isn’t an option.”

Lup frowned. “What do you mean it isn’t an option?”

“Wow,” Barry said. “You… you really do that, huh? Just like… pick up conversations for each other.” 

“What?”

“I mean, I’ve like heard of how in sync you are but it's actually kind of amazing to watch?” 

Lup glared. “What do you mean you’ve heard of how in sync we are? We aren’t a nineties boy band, thug, and we’re gonna need some goddamn answers pretty fucking soon.”

“I just mean that I’ve been watching you,” His face turned as red as his robe. “In a not creepy way! Fuck. I swear, I’ll be able to explain it all when we get back to the base.” 

“You realize how absolutely batshit this all sounds, right? Right?” 

“Yes, I realize that, and I’m sorry, and I understand how confusing and upsetting this all must be for you -”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, who’s upset, muchacho?” Taako said. “Taako is chill. Taako is… cool as a cucumber.” 

“Good, then you’ll just let me -”

“How ever, you did kidnap my sister and my boy, which is not cool, at all. So I am going to have to blast your ass for that one. No hard feelings though, homie.” 

Lup, who had been quietly hobbling behind Barry and Taako talked at him, tossed Taako their umbrella. He caught it in one hand and held it out menacingly towards Barry, charging up a spell. 

A light on the console began to flash. 

“Oh, thank Istus,” Barry said, lunging toward it and pulling a lever as a magic missile blasted towards the spot he was just in. 

Taako looked out the window and saw them approaching a giant dome, where some sort of hatch was opening up. He looked around the giant dome, surveying the place they were barrelling towards and - 

“Holy shit,” Lup said. “Are we on the fucking moon?” 

 

\---

 

T had no idea what she was doing. She stared at her tiny, nearly empty studio apartment. Then she stared at the babies in her arms. Then back at the apartment. Then back at the babies. Apartment. Babies. Apartment. Babies. Apartment. Babies. 

“Fuck,” She sighed. She set them down on her bed. Could you put newborns on a bed? Was that dangerous? She hoped not. 

After securing them in a small alcove of pillows and blankets, she dropped into her armchair. 

What was she going to do?

Outside, she heard the sounds of gunshots. She felt the telltale prickle of magic so strong it made the hairs on her arms stand up. She instinctively covered her ears, as if she was scared someone was going to break down the door and rip them off of her. 

What was she going to do?

Her sister was almost definitely dead. She felt a strangled sob bubble up in her throat. Her big sister was  _ dead _ . Tears slid down T’s face. 

“What am I gonna do?” She whispered, hoping that her sister would come through the door with some baked goods and a solution. T hadn’t understood when Kay told her that she and her husband were going to try to get pregnant. Usually elf pregnancies were accidents. No one wanted to subject a child to that. But her sister was determined. Spewing some nonsense about a goddess telling her that her children would be special. 

And then she went and fucking died. And now T had two babies with long ears that turned their backs into targets. 

“Lup and Taako,” She whispered, walking over to the bed, curling her body around the sleeping babies. They were holding each other’s hands. Lup - ? - ‘s ear twitched in content. “Fucking weird names.” 

Outside, the war raged on. Magnus Burnsides watched a fellow soldier kill an elf and rip off their ears. He kept a straight face, he couldn’t sacrifice his cover, but his heart broke. Lucretia and her captain sat at their base, going over their attack strategies. They knew they were losing. Merle read someone their last rites from a hidden bunker. Barry Bluejeans turned seventeen for the sixth time. Istus grabbed a new thread of yarn - bright red - and began to weave it into her brilliant scarf. The last two pieces of her puzzle had finally arrived. 

“I’m going to keep you too safe,” T said. “I promise.” 

 

\---

 

“You know,” The woman said, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ears. “I didn’t need any help with that.”

“I know!” Magnus said. “It’s not… I didn’t think you were weak or helpless or anything I just…” He gestured to the two - now unconscious - thugs, and activated his rustic charm. “I couldn’t let you have all the fun.” 

The woman laughed, and Magnus thought it might’ve been the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard. 

“I’m Julia,” She said, holding out her hand. It was calloused and scarred. Magnus wondered if she was a woodworker as well. “Julia Waxmen.”

Magnus shook her hand enthusiastically. “Magnus! Burnsides!” 

She laughed again, then gestured to his face. “Burnsides,” She said. “Fitting.” 

He chuckled. “Well, I thought about growing a wicked mustache, but that just seemed like it would be confusing.” 

“So, Magnus. Are you new around here? I’ve never seen you before.” 

“Yeah,” Magnus scratched the back of his neck. “I am. I came from…” Where did he come from? “Out west, I think.”

Julia nodded. “Why’d you come here?” 

Why was he there?

“I’m looking for a job! I’m a carpenter, you see. And I heard that Raven’s Roost housed the best woodworking shop in the country.”

Julia smiled. “The Hammer and Tongs?”

“Yes! That’s what it’s called. Hammer and Tongs. Do you know where it is?”

“Yeah. It’s right under my house.”

“Under your…”

“I own it. Or, well, my dad does.”

Magnus’ face brightened. “Oh! Wow! I guess it’s fate, then.”

Julia’s smile stretched further. She was so beautiful. “I guess it is.”

Somewhere, Istus smiled, weaving two strings together in an intricate and beautiful braid.


	6. Lup Kills A Guy, But Only Temporarily

Cousin Daniel was not their cousin. He was not even related to him. How the hell had Sloane managed to find this guy? Who was he? What did he want, and why did he think he knew their Aunt T? 

At first, Taako had believed he was their cousin. Why wouldn’t he? Here was a guy saying he was their cousin, saying that he actually wanted them, why would he lie about that? But after a few days it became glaringly obvious that they weren’t related at all whatsoever. Because this guy, whoever he was, was completely, and 100%, human. 

The room that he gave them was a stark white, just like everything else in the house. There were no toys, and almost everything was off limits to touch. It was the antithesis of kid friendly. Their bedroom had a big bed that they shared, a bookshelf with a bunch of boring grown up books that they read anyway, and a plain white dresser that they didn’t put their clothes in, choosing to keep them in their suitcases. 

“Lup,” Taako hissed one night. Daniel was asleep. He went to bed every night at ten o’clock on the dot and always got mad if the twins woke him up because they had nightmares. 

“What?” Lup mumbled into her pillow. She was holding Taako’s hand, and their legs were tangled around each other, but she was facing away from him, trying to sleep. Her hair was messy and her ears twitched lazily. 

“I don’t think that Daniel is our cousin.”

Lup turned around and faced him. They were nose to nose. He could smell her breath. She hadn’t brushed her teeth before she went to bed. 

“What do you mean?” She asked. Her voice was a hiss, but it was barely quieter than her normal speaking voice. Lup had never been good at whispering. 

“He’s not…” Taako tugged lightly at the tip of his ear. Not hard enough to hurt it. Elf ears were incredibly sensitive. 

Lup furrowed her eyebrows. 

“He’s human,” Taako hissed. 

Lup’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?” She asked. 

Taako nodded. “I mean… he hasn’t gotten rid of the spell on his ears… he doesn’t do any magic -”

“Auntie T didn’t do magic!”

“She didn’t do  _ fancy _ magic. Just like… cantrips and stuff.” 

Lup frowned. 

“‘Sides, he doesn’t even look like us. Doesn’t look like -” He lowered his voice, until it was barely there. “An elf.” 

Lup bit her lip. “But… why? Why would he take us in then? He doesn’t like us, but he says he’s got an ‘obligation to family’.” 

“I dunno,” Taako flopped onto his back. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” 

This bed was big. Bigger than the one they shared at Auntie T’s house, bigger than the two they’d been shoved into at the group home. It was like a giant white sea that engulfed the twins. It was comfortable. Too comfortable. They weren’t used to this sort of opulent wealth. It made them uneasy. 

“Maybe…” Lup said, copying Taako’s movement and flopping onto her back as well. Their hands were still clasped tight together. At some point that had become their natural state. “Maybe he’s one of the bad men. That Auntie T warned us about.” 

“One of…” There was a name, at the tip of Taako’s tongue. A name that was important, was dangerous, but he couldn’t… he couldn’t think of it. Couldn’t remember it. “One of the…”

Lup turned again, angling so that she could look at Taako’s face. They’d always been restless. They didn’t like to stay in one position for too long. “The ones that capture elves and cut off their ears and pull out their hearts and shave off their hair and take their magic and their vitality and their charm and beauty.” Lup’s face looked dark. Taako felt like he’d swallowed a stone. “Or the ones who use illegal magic and bind them so that they become slaves. Force them to use their magic to do bad things. Those men.” 

Taako squirmed. “Auntie said that those people weren’t real.” He curled in on himself. “They’re just a scary story.” 

There used to be a kid on their block who claimed his parents had an elf chained up in the basement. He was older than Lup and Taako, and sometimes when their Aunt T was at work, he would find them playing and tell them scary stories. About elves and orcs and dwarves and other magical creatures that weren’t around anymore. He would talk about how people hunted elves down and killed them, or broke their spirits beyond repair. How if you bound an elf’s soul to your own you would get their lifespan, and they would be forced to be your slave. He said his parents had an elf, and they used it to do magic and keep them young and pretty and wealthy. 

He was probably just trying to get a rise out of the twins, not aware that they were elves themselves. When their Aunt got home that night, the twins were hiding under the bed, sobbing about how they were going to get stolen and someone would rip off their ears and take their magic. She held them close, cooking them comfort food and soothing them with calm emotions, assuring them that it was just a story, they were safe, nothing was going to happen to them. 

Taako had believed her wholeheartedly, but Lup was wary. One night, when her brother was fast asleep, Lup followed her aunt to a secret meeting. She might’ve been barely a toddler, but Lup had a natural propensity for stealth. Besides, elven children matured fast. 

Her aunt met up with a short man with a large beard. Lup realized with awe that he was a dwarf. They first one she’d ever seen. He sold her a potion. Lup recognized it as something Aunt T gave the twins to tamper their magic and keep it from going haywire while they were too young to control it. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Her aunt whispered to the dwarf. “Some kid nearly gave them a heart attack… telling them about the things people do to elves.” She heard a sob escape her aunt. “I just feel… so lost.” 

“You’ll be alright, T. You’ll keep them safe.” The dwarf patted her on the back reassuringly. Then, Lup stumbled, losing her footing hidden behind a pillar, and both her aunt and the dwarf turned and faced her, drawing their focuses. Lup squeaked, falling on her face. 

“Oh my gods,” Aunt T said. “Lup?!” She rushed over, casting something as she went, and the next morning, Lup woke up in bed. 

In her “cousin’s” bed, Lup narrowed her eyes. She’d never told Taako about that night. 

“I dunno. Why would anyone make that up?” 

Taako shook his head. “How would they find out we were elves? We’ve always been super careful!”

“Unless…” Lup squeezed her brothers hand. “Unless something happened that we don’t remember.” 

Taako’s face grew solemn. They knew there were things they didn’t remember. Many things, in fact. It had taken their therapist several sessions to convince them that their Aunt’s house burned down two years ago. For the twins, it felt like a matter of weeks. They remembered the fire. They remembered fleeing. Then they remembered coming across the temple - or maybe someone dropped them off? - and trying to find some food. They stayed at the temple for two days before the police brought them to Sloane. But somewhere between their Aunt’s house and the Temple of Istus, they had lost two years. Two years in which anything could’ve happened. 

All the adults acted like something bad happened. Something so bad that the twins didn’t  _ want _ to remember. 

“What better ‘splanation do we have?” Lup hissed. 

Taako shrugged. “I guess… maybe.” 

He didn’t want to believe there were people out there who were so bad that they would do that sort of thing to someone. Do that sort of thing to them. But the world wasn’t nice - it would only make sense that the people occupying the world weren’t nice either. 

“I don’t like it here,” He said. “Whether he knows about us or not, I don’t trust this guy. We need to leave.” 

Lup nodded. They had to get out. But how? 

 

\---

 

“Kids!” Roswell called, chasing after the elves. “Please! I’m not going to hurt you! Please!” 

They were fast. Much faster than Roswell. Which made sense, they were two small, energetic elves and Roswell was a big hulking person. They were built like a tank, not a triathlete. 

But they children were uncoordinated. Scared. Tired and hungry and bruised. They were bound to make mistakes. One of them fell down, his bare foot twisting on a rock. The other stopped. 

“Taako!” She screeched, rushing down to help her brother up. 

Roswell caught up to them. 

“Please,” They said again, trying to catch their breath. “I can... help you.” 

“How?” The girl asked, standing over her brother, who was starting to sit up. Her hands clenched dangerously into fists at her sides. 

“I -”

Roswell’s Stone Of Farspeech lit up. They’d wondered how Magnus had gotten his hands on a contraband item. 

“You found them?!” Magnus’ voice crackled through the stone. The elf’s eyes flicked to it, staring at it with fear and wonder. 

“It’s okay,” Roswell said. “That’s my friend.” 

“Ros, listen. I need you to grab the kids and then get to the rendezvous, ASAP!”

At the word  _ grab _ , the elf’s eyes lit up. She snapped into a combative stance. Roswell tried to stumble out excuses, but they understood how bad it sounded. Of course, nothing could’ve prepared them for what came next. 

They girl’s hands caught fire. Her eyes were ablaze. The tips of her hair, tips of her fingers, her whole being was engulfed in magical, righteous flame. And then, in the blink of an eye, it all channeled towards Roswell. Before they could register the pain, they were dust. 

 

\---

 

When Taako was eighteen months old, he found a hat. T was focused on Lup, who was currently playing in the fireplace, seemingly unperturbed by the fact that there was a fire in said fireplace. 

When T had noticed the flaming toddler, she’d dropped the box she was holding to try and assess the situation, and the box hand landed right in front of Taako, who immediately started exploring. 

It was a soft, crushed red velvet hat with a blue satin ribbon. Floppy and fashionable, large on a normal sized person, gigantic on baby Taako, and ending in a pronounced point. A wizard’s hat. 

He hadn’t understood when - after getting Lup out of the flames - T had taken the hat from him with a firm “No.” and then put it back in the box. She stored the box on the top shelf, in the back of the closet. She knew she should destroy the thing, but was too sentimental. 

Taako hadn’t understood what the hat meant. He hadn’t understood what his sister’s immunity to fire meant. He hadn’t understood why his aunt was so upset when he moved things with his mind, or when sparks shot out of his fingers. 

Taako and Lup were powerful in a world where they were better off unnoticed. They were loud and eye-catching and wonderous. And that was going to get them in a lot of trouble. 

 

\---

 

Istus materialized in Lucretia’s office. Lucretia was slumped down, her head in her hands. Her captain stared vacantly out the window. Lucretia couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She was so tired. 

“Lucretia.” 

She jumped up at the sound of her name. She’d gotten semi-regular visits from Istus for the past few years, but the silent materialization of a goddess was not something she saw herself getting used to. 

“Fantasy Jesus Christ,” She muttered. 

Istus frowned. “Magnus’ plan has fallen through.” 

“What?” 

“You might want to get that young necromancer that I’m lying to my wife about to these coordinates as soon as possible or else your friend Roswell will be… oh what’s the expression… dust in the wind.” She smiled to herself. Istus had a surprisingly morbid sense of humor. Or maybe it wasn’t so surprising, when one considered how close she was to the Raven Queen. 

“And the twins?” Lucretia asked, after sending a message to Magnus and Barry. 

Istus closed her eyes. “It’s not time yet, Lucretia. They aren’t ready.” 

“But -” 

When the goddess opened her eyes, they were golden fire. Unrelenting and powerful. “Not. Ready.” 

Lucretia nodded. 

“Can you… can you tell me when?”

Istus smiled, softly. “Oh, Lucy,” She said. “What would be the fun in that?” 

And then she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey. guys. guess what. next chapter? seven year old kravitz. you're welcome


	7. Can Istus Be MY Mom?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> babykravitzbabykravitzbabykravitzbabykrav

Lup stared at her hands, at the smoldering pile of ash that had once been a person. A person she disintegrated. She heard alarms in the distance. Of course magic like that wouldn’t go undetected by the sensors.

“Lulu…?” Taako said. “What do we… what are we gonna do?”

Lup’s ears twitched with fear. She looked down at her brother. His foot was sticking out in a strange, unnatural way. She didn’t know what to do. She was so scared. Think, Lup, think!

And then there was a woman. She was beautiful, but not outrightly so. She was… majestic. She wore a flowing white robe with golden accents, and there was a long scarf slung over her shoulder. If Lup tried to see where the scarf ended or began, she would get a headache.

“Taako,” The woman said, looking at Lup’s brother. She waved her hand, and suddenly Taako was floating. She placed him down gingerly, his foot completely healed. Then the woman turned her attention to Lup. “Chaalupa.” Lup’s nose involuntarily scrunched at the use of her full name. The woman giggled slightly. “I’m sorry,” She amended. “Lup. I am Istus. I’m here to help you.”

Lup knew she shouldn’t trust those words. Anyone who had to clarify that they were there to help probably wasn’t. But Lup trusted Istus. She felt warm and loved, just from being in her presence. She wanted to be closer to her, to snuggle up to her and fall asleep in her arms.

Istus held out her hands, and without prompting, both twins took them.

With a flash of white light that should’ve been blinding, but was actually comforting, the twins found themselves in a house. It was expansive and comfortable, with a strange clash of aesthetic. Some parts were pristine and homey, other parts were black, with a serious bird motif. Lup found herself drawn to those parts more. There was another woman sitting on the couch. She wore a dark black feathered robe. Her hair was long and black, and seemed to descend into an inky black abyss. In her lap was a boy, also dressed in all black, about Lup and Taako’s age. The woman in black was braiding his hair.

“‘Ello,” He said, in a bad accent that Lup recognized from TV.

“Hi!” Taako said, walking over towards the couch. Lup almost reached out a hand to hold him back, but something told her she didn’t have to. They were safe. For the first time in their lives, they were completely safe.

“I’m Taako,” Taako said. “This is my sister, Lup.”

“I’m Kravitz,” The boy said. “I’ve never met someone who was my age before. Are you guys gods?”

Taako shook his head. “Nope. We’re elves.” Realization of what he’d just said dawned on his face. “I mean… not elves, we’re… we’re just humans. Regular old, normal humans.” His ears twitched.

“It’s okay children,” Istus said. “No one is going to harm you here.” She nudged Lup - who was still hiding in her skirt - forward. Lup stumbled, but then moved. She and Taako sat together in a squishy armchair.

“We have more chairs,” Kravitz said, the accent gone. “You don’t have to share.”

“We like to share,” Lup said, grabbing Taako’s hand. He gave her a comforting squeeze.

Kravitz shrugged, and then sat in the lap of the woman in black, who went back to braiding his hair.

“This is the Raven Queen,” Istus said, gesturing towards the woman. The Raven Queen nodded at them.

“Hello,” Taako said.

“You’re very pretty,” Lup said, then blushed, embarrassed.

Istus laughed. “I think she is, too.”

“Why are you guys all busted up?” Kravitz asked.

The Raven Queen let out a small squawk. “Don’t be rude, dear,” She said.

Taako and Lup didn’t mind. “We got in a fight,” Lup said.

Taako grinned. “And then we got in another one and another one and another one and another one…”

“Wow,” Kravitz said. “That’s so cool.”

Taako cracked a self satisfied smile.

“Speaking of being ‘busted up,’” Istus said. “Come with me.” She lead the twins up a long staircase that started off as black, cedar, stairs but ended as fluffy carpeted ones.

Taako lifted a small hand to Kravitz as they went. Kravitz enthusiastically waved back.

“Are they important?” He asked his Bird Mom.

“Everyone is important,” She responded.

Kravitz rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but… you know what I mean.”

A ghost of a smile played across the Raven Queen’s lips. “Yes,” She said. “I suppose that they are.”

Istus took them to a large bathroom. She filled up a warm bathtub. She regrew their patchy hair. She clipped their nails and healed the scratches on their skin.

She fed them, until they were no longer critically underweight.

She gave them a warm, soft bed, and let them sleep until they were no longer tired.

She allowed them to make cupcakes. Taako made rainbow cupcakes for her, and Lup made dark chocolate cupcakes for the Raven Queen.

They played with Kravitz.

They read books.

They practiced magic.

They cooked wonderful meals.

“You know,” The Raven Queen said at one point, coming up behind Istus as she watched them try and teach Kravitz soccer. “You can take them back now. They’re safe. You’ve done what you needed to do.”

“I know,” Istus said. She glanced at her scarf, at two particular threads. “But they’re… the road ahead of them is going to be so difficult. They deserve this.”

The Raven Queen rested her head on her wife’s shoulder. “They’ll be back again soon.” She watched as Taako tackled Kravitz, while Lup laughed in the background. “I’m sure of it.”

Istus snorted. “Are you saying you think you’ve found someone good enough for our son?”

“No one is good enough for my child,” Raven said. “But… fate is inevitable.”

Istus smiled softly. “Soon,” She said. “I’ll take them back soon.” Kravitz finally kicked the ball into the goal, causing the twins to attempt to hoist him up on their shoulders. “Just let them have this.”

They stayed with Istus and her family in the celestial plane for a month. And then it was time to go.

Istus tucked them into bed with a soft kiss on their foreheads. They looked so much better than before, when they’d been on the brink of death. Istus was pained to think that tomorrow she’d have to take some of their health. It didn’t make sense for two children who’d been alone for two years to be well taken care of.

“Goodnight, children,” She said.

“G’night,” Taako mumbled. “Love you.”

Istus felt a tear come to her eyes.

“G’night…” Lup yawned, her eyes fluttering. “Mom.”

Istus left the room, tears spilling over. She felt the arms of the Raven Queen pull her into a tight embrace.

“They’ll be alright…” She mumbled into Istus’ hair. “They have each other. They’ll be alright.”

When the twins woke up, Istus was in their bedroom. She had a sad smile on her face.

“Get dressed, children.”

“O… kay…” Lup said, sliding slowly out of bed. Something felt off, but there were no signs of danger. She trusted Istus and the Raven Queen. They’d be fine.

After they were dressed, Istus held out her hands, pulling the two of them into an embrace. Their faces were buried in the fabric of her dress.

When she let go of them, they were in a temple.

“What are we doing here?” Taako asked. The comforting aura of the celestial plane was gone.

Istus’ eyes were glassy. “I’ll see you two soon,” She said.

“What’s going on?” Lup asked.

“Remember, I am always with you.” Istus kissed them each on the forehead, and with that kiss, took their memories, not only of the celestial plane, but of the two years since the fire. They didn’t need that knowledge. Not yet.

And then, she was gone.

“Lup,” Taako said. “Lup I’m hungry. Do you think we can find any food?”

“I dunno…” Lup replied. Wasn’t there someone else with them? They didn’t have to worry about food? Did they? She shook her head, trying to get rid of the fuzziness. They were on their own. They couldn’t trust anyone. They just had to wait for her to get back. She would see them soon. Who would see them soon? Oh. Their aunt. T. The fire. Right. “The probably have a kitchen somewhere,” She said.

“Or maybe a place they keep the food that’s going to be sacrificed,” Taako said.

“Do you think the goddess will mind if we take her food?” Lup asked.

Taako shrugged. “Ya know, I don’t think she will.”

 

\---

 

“Holy fucking shit!” Taako yelled, as they crashed into the weird dome building. There was a jolt, and Barry Bluejeans was slipping out of Lup’s grasp and opening a door.

“Avi!” He yelled. “Avi holy shit!”

Lup turned to Taako, her eyebrows knitted together. She clutched the umbrella. “Grab Angus,” She hissed.

Taako nodded, and scooped the sleeping boy up in his arms.

“What?” Another voice asked, one that the twins didn’t recognize. “Wait, did you _find_ them?”

Lup peaked her head out the door. Barry was talking to a man who was a little older than them, energetically gesturing with a flask.

She cautiously took a step out of the weird pod thing, with Taako and Angus right behind her.

“Oh my god!” The other man said, rushing towards them. “Lup! Taako! Is that… is that Angus! Holy shit!” He seemed like he was reaching out to hug Lup, but then thought better of it and offered her a drink from his flask. She shook her head, still gripping the umbrella.

“Hey, quick question,” Taako said. “What the fuck is going on?”

“All will be explained when you meet the director,” Barry said.

The other man nodded enthusiastically. “She’s gonna be so excited. I’m Avi, by the way.”

“Yeah. Cool. Taako from TV.”

Lup said nothing.

 _I say we play along until we meet this director person._ She thought, her voice rattling around in Taako’s head.

Taako mentally nodded.

They followed Barry to an elevator, after Avi waved them off excitedly.

“So…” Barry said in the elevator, as music cranked through the tinny speakers. “I… I feel like we got off on the wrong foot.”

“What gave you that impression, homie?” Taako asked, adjusting the sleeping Angus in his arms.

“Oh… you know… just… everything.”

Lup stayed silent.

The elevator doors dinged. They walked down a long hallway, and standing at the end of it, was an older woman with short white hair, dressed in a red robe and holding a staff. Barry met the woman on her platform, standing slightly behind her, a grin on his face. The woman spoke.

“Welcome, the three of you, to the Bureau of Bal -”

Lup shot a fireball at her.

 

\---

 

If you asked a random person on the side of the street to imagine the team of people who would save the world, they probably wouldn’t say “a gnome navy captain, an incompetent dwarven cleric, and a 21 year old english major.” But being constantly undermined and unexpected only helped Davenport, Merle, and Lucretia in their fight against the forces of evil. The War of the Ascendent had been raging for two years. Two awful, bloody years. It had been a lopsided war from the start. Somehow, the Ascendent forces had locked themselves into positions of power without anyone noticing. They had the force, they had the influence, but those on the opposing side had numbers.

It was a war against magic. A war against those who wielded magic and those who had magic in their blood. Humans made up 70% of the population, the other magical races scattered about in the remaining 30, and there had always been issues. While a human could wield magic, and some did naturally, most humans felt threatened by magical races. This lead to some scuffles in the past, but for the most part, everyone lived in relative harmony. Until he came along. No one knew who the commander of the Ascendent really was. They knew his #2, Governor Kalen, but he was a mystery. Even with their man on the inside, his personal cleric and confident, the only name they could get was _John_.

John was a man of unmatched power, and, according to Merle, he was about to get something that made him untouchable. Something that would lead him to win the war once and for all. A weapon unlike any other. A weapon codenamed as: The Hunger.

“Dav, I don’t know if this is a good idea,” Lucretia said, standing uncomfortably in the corner of her captain’s office. Their forces were waning. They were not as powerful as their opponents, and Lucretia knew that this weapon could end it all for them, but this seemed very hasty.

“Merle said it was moving tonight, Lucretia. This may be our only chance.”

Lucretia bit her lip, shuffling nervously.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to -”

“Oh no, I’m coming on this mission. I’m your number two, Davenport. If you go, I go.”

Davenport sighed. It was no use arguing with Lucretia. Even if she wasn’t really a fighter, she was one of the only people he could trust completely.

The team consisted of Davenport, Lucretia, and Brian, a dark elf who was one of their best stealth fighters and most adept magic users, only rivaled in power by Lucretia.

Using Merle’s intel, they managed to Blink into the building without issue. Lucretia closed her eyes, visualizing the map that Merle sent them. Thank Istus for her photographic memory.

“So…” Brian said. “Vho iz zis… zercet intell-ee-zence zat ve are riskink our necks for?”

“That’s top secret information, Brian,” Davenport said. “You know this. Now, keep quiet.”

“This way,” Lucretia hissed. The three of them turned a corner. They couldn’t use any magic here, there were too many sensors, so they had to rely on natural stealth to keep quiet.

They were almost there. Lucretia felt tingles in the tips of her fingers. They might actually succeed.

“Stop,” She said, pausing in front of a door. “This is it.”

She pulled out her lock picking tools, jiggling the handle until the door finally gave.

And then everything went to shit.

“Hello, Captain Davenport. Lucretia.”

Lucretia’s blood went cold.

“Run!” Davenport said. “Abandon mission. Go! Now!”

She turned her head, trying to cast Blink, but she couldn’t move.

“Hmmmm…” Brian said, holding his hand up. “I am goink to find zat zolution… eh… inequitable.”

“Brian…” Davenport said, his voice deadly quiet.

John turned around, a perfectly composed smile on his face. “Oh no, no, no, no, Captain Davenport.”

He nodded to Brian, and Davenport crumbled to the ground.

“Oh my god,” Lucretia gasped.

“Lucretia,” John said, walking over to her paralyzed form. “It is… so wonderful to finally meet you. Brian has told me so much about you. And I’m sure you know so much about me from your friend… oh who is it, exactly? Who are they, Lucy?”

“Brian you back-stabbing son of a bitch -”

“Lucretia. We’re having a conversation. The least you can do is pretend to be engaged.”

Lucretia glared at John. “I am going to kill you,” She growled. “I am going to fucking kill you. I am going to kill you in ways you didn’t even know you could be killed. I’m gonna kill you and then I’m gonna find a necromancer to resurrect you and then I’m gonna fucking kill you again.”

“So fiesty.”

He turned away from her. “Brian, darling, do you have those books I asked you to pick up?”

Brian reached into his robe and pulled out two blue journals with silver patterns. They were Lucretia’s journals. Specifically Lucretia’s journals on Davenport. On the whole operation. On the war, on his life, her notes for the biography she’d been writing about him before she got sucked into this.

“What are you doing with those?”

Neither Brian nor John answered her. John walked over to the tank. He pulled off a large and dramatic curtain revealing a… big jellyfish?

It was a very pretty jellyfish, one of the top jellyfish that Lucretia had ever seen, but _this_ was the weapon?

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” John said. “A pain in the ass to get but… definitely worth it.” He patted the tank. “It’s called a Voidfish. But I like ‘The Hunger’ better. More badass. Possibly the most powerful creature in this or any universe. It - well. I’ll just show you what it does. But first,” He grabbed a fancy wine bottle, and a glass that was filled with a strange, brackish liquid. She could see that the bottle was filled with the same liquid. “Drink.”

“What?” Lucretia choked out. “No. No way.”

John sighed. “Lucretia, you’re going to drink this. You can either take it with some shred of dignity or I can force it down your throat.”

“Why?”

“Because I want you to remember, Lucretia. I want you to remember all of it. I want to see your face as you lose.”

Lucretia glared at him. He held up the glass. She drank it.

And she felt… nothing.

“The books, please, Brian.”

Brian dropped the journals into the tank.

“The Voidfish eats information. Anything you feed it, poof. Gone. Those who have not been inoculated with its ichor will not be able to understand or comprehend anything that happens relating to the information its eaten. For example, there could be a war going on right in front of their eyes, but if the Voidfish ate all information regarding that war… well.”

Lucretia’s eyes widened. That’s how they were going to win this war. Because no one else was going to know they were fighting it.

“The only people who remember are those like you and I. Those who’ve been inoculated. Well. The dead remember as well, I suppose.”

He laughed as the Voidfish ate Lucretia’s journals. “This is only the beginning, Lucretia. I won’t insult you by asking you to join me. You’ve made your choice.” He pointed at Davenport. “I wonder…” He said. “What would happen if you erased someone’s entire existence? Their whole life? What would become of that person?”

“No…”

John chuckled. Not darkly. He sounded… curious. Detached. As though he felt he was above this world.

“I guess we’ll find out, won’t we.” He held up the wine bottle again. “I have one more offering for you. A gift. You can inoculate whomever you like. You won’t be able to raise enough forces to defeat me, but you can take this back to wherever you choose to build your new base - I’m assuming you’ll build a new one now that you know I know where your old one was - and you can give it to whoever. I want to watch you try, Lucretia. I want to watch you try to beat me. Watch you try and fail. Because you will fail. You’re just a little girl, in way over her head.”

“How do you know I won’t just inoculate Davenport?”

“You’re definitely welcome to do so. In fact, if you do, could you do it now? I’d love to watch your face as the pressure of years and years of memories came back to him. As you realized he was going to die from all the mental strain.”

“Die?”

“Oh yes. There’s no doubt in my mind that would kill him. But, the choice is up to you.”

“Why are you doing this? You won. You _won,_ you sick, sadistic bastard. Why would you make us suffer like this?!”

“Now that’s just sad. Giving up so fast? No fun.” He fake pouted. “I know I won, Lucretia. But… think of it like chess. It’s not the winning that’s the fun part.” He placed the bottle in her hand, curling her fingers around it. “It’s the game.” He smiled. “Until we meet again, Lucretia.”

He waved his hand, and Lucretia fell to the ground. The ground of Davenport’s office. She was back on the base.

“Captain!” She said, rushing over to him. His eyes fluttered as he roused. “Captain! Thank God you’re alright!”

He stared at her, a vacant, confused look in his eyes.

“D-Davenport?” He asked. “Davenport? Davenport. Davenport!”

“No,” Lucretia held her captain close, tears falling down her cheeks. “No, no, no.”

“Davenport? Davenport?!”


	8. Our Heroes Take The Red Pill

Several people moved at once. Barry immediately went to help the Director, while two guards on the sidelines made a grab for Lup. 

Taako immediately jumped to help his sister, casting some random spell to try and push the guards (holy shit was one of them an orc?! And a robot?! What the fuck?!) away from Lup, which lead to yet another person restraining him.  

The Director, for her part, was trying to mitigate the situation. “Stop!” She yelled out. “Stop it! Killian! Carey! Noelle! Leave them alone!” 

Her demands were probably not as intimidating as they could be, because as she gave them she was clutching her chest and leaning on a seventeen year old. 

“I’m… fuck…” She mumbled. She grabbed onto her staff, mumbling some words to herself, and then Taako and Lup felt the wash of magic over them. The Director stood a little bit taller. The twins shared a look. 

Magic? She was doing magic?!

“I’m alright,” She said, her voice sounding strained. She righted herself against Barry. “I’ll have a healer look at that later.”

Barry turned to her. “Should I call Wxolr?”

Lup shook her head at the strange, discomforting word jumble. “I said I wanted a healer, Barry, not a jackass who will flirt with my begonias.” 

The three guards released Taako and Lup, but didn’t return to their places on the sidelines, electing to stand intimidatingly near the twins. 

“What my… um… sister means, by that whole… demonstration,” Taako said, folding his hands diplomatically. He glanced at the guards, sizing them up in his mind. “Is, um, what… what the fuck is going on? Like right now? Like who are you? And why are you making our heads all… fuzzy? And why do you know who we are? And why did you kidnap us? And just like. What is this general nonsense?”

“This is the Bureau of Balance,” The Director said. “We’re an… organization. That works towards… um… betterment.”

“Wow,” Taako snorted. “How delightfully vague.” 

The Director grimaced. “Johann?” She asked. “Can we get some, oh thank you.”

A young man had appeared at her side, handing her three glasses of liquid that looked like something no one should drink. Angus, who’d been propped up on Taako’s hip with his still sleeping head resting on Taako’s shoulder finally started to stir. 

“Suh… Sir?” He mumbled. “What… wha’ happened?” 

Taako surreptitiously set him down on the ground. 

“We’re on the moon. Possibly kidnapped,” Taako said. 

“Might stage a coup,” Lup added, side-eyeing the Director’s guards. 

“Please don’t,” Barry Bluejeans said from the front of the room. 

Lup flashed him a smile. “Don’t tell me what to do, Barold.”

“That’s not -” 

“Anyway,” Taako was back to addressing Angus. “It’s very possible that we’re gonna be like. Murdered. Or poisoned. So just. Prepare yourself for that. Mentally.” 

Angus nodded, still looking a little lost and groggy. 

The Director sighed. “Please, kids, we aren’t going to hurt you. We want to help you. Everything will make sense if you drink this.” She handed them all a cup of the liquid. 

Taako let out a mean laugh. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Lup poked at the liquid in her cup. “This… this seems like death water. I’m not putting it anywhere near my mouth or other orifices.”

Angus sniffed it curiously. 

The Director looked pained. “I can’t… I won’t force you to drink it but… I don’t know how else to give you your answers.” 

“What is it?” Lup asked. 

“Doinefdas ioajc,” Barry said. 

Lup, Taako, and Angus all rubbed at their temples, a slight headache forming at the words. 

“You would understand what I just said if you drank it.” 

Taako side eyed his sister. 

_ Lulu, I don’t - _

“Ah, fuck it.” 

She downed the glass. 

Taako sighed, and in an act of solidarity, drank his as well. Angus followed suit because if your strange teenage elf guardians jump off a bridge you probably should as well. 

 

\---

 

They saw… a war. But it wasn’t a war. It hadn’t been a war in a very long time. Not in the way one thinks of a war. There were barely any battles. It was not a war. It was an occupation. 

They saw elves, dwarves, gnomes, and drows slaughtered in the streets. Small bands of rebels or wanna be wizards being taken down with mind numbing efficiency because they dared to use magic. Soldiers posted on every street corner. A world kept under lock and key. Memories and realizations that they didn’t know were squirreled away. 

And then, memories that were not their own. They saw the world before the voidfish. Because that’s what Barry had called it. A voidfish. The voidfish’s ichor. 

A long, bloody conflict, started by an angry band of humans. Angry that they were not the superior race. Angry that they were now expected to live side by side to elves and could no longer hunt them for their magic. They saw rallies and protests that were originally thought of as nothing. They saw them all too quickly become  _ something _ . The face of this movement was a man called Governor Kalen. He was the commanding officer in the war against magic. But there was someone above him. Someone more sinister. Who used backhanded tricks where his partner used brute force. Together, Kalen and the man known only as John made quick work of conquering Faerun. 

The last thing the voidfish showed them was life before the war. Before Kalen and John and the voidfish and the occupation and the outlawing of aracana. Where all races lived in relative harmony. Magic was not only accepted, it was celebrated. People used it to further scientific discoveries, they studied it in school, having magic was seen as an advantage rather than something marking you for slaughter. But they also saw jealousy. Discontempt. Dissatisfaction. They saw a man stewing in the issues of the world, a man who thought himself to be more than a man. Thought himself to be more than a god. A man whose soul was corrupted by a darkness unlike anything else in the universe. A man biding his time. 

 

\---

 

“O...kay,” Lup said. 

“My name is Lucretia. For the past fifteen years, the Bureau has been dedicated to fighting John and his forces. This war is not over. We are determined to return magic and freedom to Faerun.” 

Taako nodded slowly. “That all sounds, very noble, but what exactly does that have to do with us?” 

“It’s complicated. You two are… chosen, in a way. You have always been destined to come here, to join us, to help us turn the tide.” She smiled. “You’re incredibly powerful. I mean… look at what you’ve managed to learn in the shadows! What you’ve managed to do! The Bureau needs you. We’ve been trying to bring you here for years -”

“Years?”

“But you weren’t ready for us. So we’ve been watching over you. Sort of like… guardian angels, I guess.” 

Taako snorted. “We’ll you’ve been doing a pretty fucking bad job so far.” 

Lucretia frowned. “I know,” She said. “I’m… I’m sorry. We’ve been,  _ I’ve _ been trying but we have… limited resources. And fate… destiny… it’s specific.”

Lup gripped the umbrella, a glare setting into her face. 

“And, we weren’t prepared, for you. For how…” She laughed a bit. “How elusive you would be. When you got away from Roswell, we sent Sloane in. I had to… doctor her memories a bit… but ingrained in her to call me, to contact me when she found two elven twins. And then I didn’t hear from her for years. We found you once. With Johann. We were always following your scraps, trying to chase your trail. Taako’s…” She smiled a bit. “Television debut was the last time that we saw you. We… we were worried that you were dead. But then a little over a year ago, Sloane called me. Saying she found two elven twins. We’ve been trying to track you down since then. Finally we got a tip from some guards talking about how they were going to stakeout a motel room where some elves were staying and…” She grinned. “And we found you.” 

“Right…” Taako said. He held out his hand, making a grasping motion. Angus scrambled up from the ground and slipped his hand into Taako’s. Taako glanced at Lup. Her jaw was clenched, and she was tightly holding the umbrella. “That’s. That’s great. That’s cool. Totally dope. Magic is great and I like… way support you. But also, we’re gonna have to -”

“Okay.” Lup said. 

Taako’s eyebrows shot up. “Hmmm?” 

“We’re down. Let’s do this. Fuck John.”

“Lulu?”

Lup was staring at Lucretia and Barry with a laser-like intensity. “How do we join up?”

“Lulu…?” 

Lucretia  _ beamed _ . “Let me get you your bracers! I’m so… I’m so glad to have you. You don’t even… this is amazing.”

“Lulu?!” 

Lup whipped her head back, staring at her brother. “Taako? Mm-mm.” She shook her head. “Mm-mm.” 

He nodded slowly. 

She turned back to Lucretia. “What about the two years.”

“What?” 

She glared. “The fucking… the fucking two years. Five to seven. Where are they?” 

“I don’t… I don’t understand?”

“You said the voidfish restored memories. Well I don’t remember any-fucking-thing that happened to me from ages five to seven. Where are they?” 

Lucretia looked down. “I don’t… I don’t know,” She said. “The voidfish… it only restores memories that it previously erased. If something else took your memories, there’s really nothing I can do for you. I’m sorry, Lup.” 

Lup closed her eyes. The grip on the umbrella loosened, and her jaw unclenched. 

Taako raised an eyebrow. “Lup?”

“Okay,” She said, all of her previous anger and tenacity gone. “Okay. Cool. Well. Great.” 

Barry took a step forward. “Lup? Are you okay?” 

She opened her eyes. “I’m completely fine, babe.”

Taako walked over to Lup, grabbing her hand. Her hand shaped perfectly over the small handprint scar. 

“Okay,” Lucretia said. “Let’s introduce you to everyone else.” 

 

\---

 

Their “cousin” Daniel wasn’t around much, which made it easy for Taako and Lup to plan their escape. They would pocket things that looked like they could be useful, and didn’t constantly have to keep the enchantment up on their ears. 

The worst thing was school. The twins had never been to school before, and it had only taken them a few days to realize they hated it. 

But Daniel forced them to go. And if they pitched a fit, he’d call Sloane. And sometimes Sloane would make them talk to Paloma, the strange therapist woman who always asked how they were “feeling.” 

They didn’t trust Daniel. For the entire four months they stayed with him, they were looking for a way out. But that didn’t make him leaving them hurt any less. 

The day had started off normally. Breakfast, where Lup and Taako weren’t allowed to touch anything, then a ride in Daniel’s car, where Lup and Taako weren’t allowed to touch anything, and then school, where Lup and Taako weren’t allowed to touch anything. The deviation came after school. 

“Cousin” Daniel was a stickler for punctuality. He said he didn’t have time to be waiting around for the twins. So when he wasn’t there in his silver sports car waiting for them right as the bell rang, they started to get uneasy. And when an hour passed, they started to get worried. When it was eight o’clock at night and Taako and Lup were still sitting on the concrete in front of the school, watching as teachers brushed by them, leaving for the night, they were fucking scared. 

“Should we…” Lup looked at Taako. “Should we call Sloane?” 

Taako shook his head. “He’ll be here,” He said, voice steely. 

Lup nodded, but she didn’t look convinced. 

Another half hour passed. Lup was throwing rocks into the road. She’d come up with some sort of point system, and every so often she’d make a sound of triumph. Taako had pulled out some of his secondhand school supplies and started doodling on his homework. 

A car rolled into the school’s driveway. It wasn’t the silver sports car. It was a bright red convertible. The car stopped in front of Taako and Lup. Someone rolled down a window, and a woman with bright red lipstick and large sunglasses flashed a smile at the two of them. 

“Hello Taako. Lup. My name is Elaine. I’m going to take you to your grandfather!” 


	9. The Twins Fail A Perception Check

Raven’s Roost was different than any other town Magnus remembered being in. After a few months, the biggest difference had become so glaring he couldn’t ignore it anymore. 

He’d gotten a job as an apprentice with Julia’s father almost immediately, and had been working with Julia at the Hammer and Tongs. Magnus wouldn’t say they were best friends - at least, he wouldn’t say it outloud, because he didn’t want to be presumptuous - but he’d felt an instant connection with her. 

“Hey, Jules?” He asked. Julia looked up from her metal work. 

“Yessum?” She asked, setting some hot tools in the water to cool. 

“Why aren’t there any nonhumans in Raven’s Roost? Also, you’re a bard, right? Why don’t you ever use your music to make magic?” 

The color drained out of Julia’s face. “It’s… complicated,” She said. “I… we…” She glanced at a small black ball in the corner of the room. Magnus had assumed it was some sort of fancy light fixture. “We just… we just don’t have them.” She fidgeted with her hands. “We’re a human centric community, dedicated to upholding the traditions of our race.” 

Magnus’ eyes widened. He never expected Julia to say something so blatantly bigoted. She sounded detached, like she was reading a script. 

Then she took her gloves off, and walked towards Magnus, grabbing her hand in his. “But let’s talk about something else,” She said, very un-Julia-like. “Woodworking has been good for you, Mags. Your muscles are really developing.” She prattled on about his physique for a few minutes, sounding mindless and ditzy in the way she was talking to him, drawing random patterns in the palm of his hand. 

Except, it wasn’t random patterns. It was thieves cant. Magnus wasn’t sure how he knew it, but he did. The same four phrases, over and over. 

_ Can’t talk _

_ Being watched _

_ Explain later _

_ Confirm _

_ Can’t talk _

_ Being watched _

_ Explain later _

_ Confirm _

Once Magnus was sure he’d gotten his entire message, he spoke, playing into the ruse he didn’t completely understand. 

“Julia,” He said, taking her hand in his. “While I understand your natural attraction to me, I can’t allow this to go on any further. I’m working for your father. It wouldn’t be right. Please, let’s try to keep this professional.” 

To exemplify his professionality, he gave her a firm handshake. 

_ Confirm _

 

\---

 

“Lucretia.”

Lucretia nearly jumped out of her skin. It was three in the morning. She’d just come back from a secret meeting of the Inoculated, or, as she was beginning to call them, the Bureau of Balance. She clutched the plans for her moonbase close to her chest. It was going to be difficult to pull off, but if she and Merle could plan it right, there would be a second moon in the sky by the end of the year, and no one would question it. 

“Who…” Lucretia said, closing the door of her tiny apartment behind her. “Who are you?” She set the blueprints down on the ground, reaching to call upon her wand. “Cap - I mean - Davenport! What did you do to him” 

The woman standing in her kitchen smiled. “He’s fine, Lucretia. I just put a quick sleep spell on him.” 

“What?” Lucretia bared her wand, aiming at the woman, sensors be damned. 

“My name is Istus,” The woman said. On her name, she radiated with a divine, cosmic light. Her power made every one of Lucretia’s blood cells sing. “I have a job for you.” 

Lucretia laughed. “For… For me?” 

She stared at the goddess of fate. This was insane. Lucretia didn’t know what she was doing. She was trying to fight an entire war - fuck, an entire society, by herself. She was woefully underprepared. She was supposed to be biographer. She was not the type to have goddesses in her kitchen. 

“Why… why me?” 

“You’ve been chosen. Chosen to be one of my emissaries. One of the seven birds who will guide the world back into order.” 

“What?” Lucretia asked, incredulous. 

“The man you call  _ John _ … he’s not like you. He’s not like any other being on this plane. He is evil. A powerful sorcerer with a completely corrupted soul. When John was young, he found a very powerful object. An object made by those even higher than the Gods. The Light of Creation. John tried to… harness the light. Take the power for himself. But he wasn’t strong enough. It used him, turned him into something both more and less than a human. It hollowed out his heart and warped his soul, until he nothing more than a power hungry, all consuming force, hellbent on filling the hole that the light left. Filling it with magic. Magic is one of the few things that can replicate the Light, as it is a form of pure, unbridled magic itself.”

“But, why would he want people to stop using magic? How does that help him get more arcane power?” Lucretia surprised herself with her question. Her complete and utter bafflement at the situation couldn’t curb her innate desire to understand everything happening around her. 

“Magic is a resource. When less people are using it…”

“It becomes more powerful.”

“And, if magic becomes outlawed, if he can monitor who's using it, then he can take them in and -”

“And steal their power.” 

“Exactly. I think… megalomania is definitely a factor in it as well.” The goddess looked pensive for a moment. 

“But… I still don’t understand what this has to do with me?” 

“In an effort to harness the power of the Light, John split it into seven parts, all representing different types of magic. Using artificing, he imbued seven different objects with the Light of Creation, and the incredibly powerful magic that comes with it. But the Light controls him more than he controls it. And rather than tapping into his magic, the items connected themselves with the magic of seven different souls, some not even born yet when the objects were made. These seven souls, or seven birds as I call them, are the only ones who can harness the power of these objects. The only ones who can restore the Light. Restore…” She gestured to Lucretia. “Balance.” 

“John thinks himself higher than a god. He thinks he can manipulate the rules of reality with complete disregard for the precarious balance we all work so hard to maintain. As the goddess of fate, I hold particular issue with this. Which is why I have dedicated myself to helping the seven birds restore balance. As long as the Light is corrupted like this, as long as John is in power, the tapestry that I have worked so hard to create can never happen as it was meant to.”

“Are you saying that I’m -”

“You’re one of the Birds, Lucretia. You are possibly the most important of the seven, for you are tasked with finding the rest, and bringing them together.” Istus held out her hand, images appearing above it. “You’ve already located two. Captain Davenport,” A flickering image of her captain appeared. “Master of the Oculus.” An image of an old fashioned monocle. “Merle Highchurch,” Merle appeared above the goddesses hand. Lucretia couldn’t help but cut her off. 

“Wait… Merle?” 

Istus did not respond, but Lucretia saw the ghost of a smile cross her face. “Master of the Gaia Sash. And then there are others. A young man, can’t be older than you, Magnus Burnsides, master of the Temporal Chalice. He’s working as a mercenary in a town out west. A young necromancer, possibly named Sildar, possibly named Barry. Master of the Animus Bell. I hear his seventeenth birthday is coming up.” She said that like it was a joke, but Lucretia didn’t know how it was funny. “And lastly, possibly most difficulty, Lup and Taako.” An image of two sleeping toddlers appeared above Lucretia’s hand. “Elf twins, aged two. Their parents were soldiers in the war. Their aunt even managed to be innoculated. She was part of an elven insurgence group. They’re young, of course, but when they become adults, they’ll be the Masters of the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet and Philosopher’s Stone, respectively.” She closed her hand, and the images faded away. 

“Talk to Merle first. Then find Barry. That’s all I can tell you for now.” 

“What?” Lucretia asked, dumbfounded. “Why? Why can’t you tell me more? You’re a goddess! Why can’t you bring me all the people and all the objects and we can get this done today!” 

Istus smiled. “Destiny is a tricky thing. I can guide you, but you have to fulfill it on your own. We’ll talk soon, Lucretia.” 

“Wait!” 

Istus raised an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

“My object? What is it? How do I get it?” 

“It’s called the Bulwark staff,” Istus said. “You must call it. And when the time is right, it will answer.” 

“‘When the time is right it will answer?’” Lucretia mumbled. “What the hell does that mean!” 

But Istus was already gone. 

 

\---

 

“Our grandfather?” Taako asked. He quirked his head. 

Lup’s eyes lit up. “Really?” She asked. 

Elaine smiled and nodded enthusiastically. “Really!” 

Taako shook his head. “But we don’t -” 

Lup cut him off. “Will out Auntie T be there?” 

Elaine nodded. “It might… take awhile. But soon! She’ll be joining us soon. In fact, she’s the one that sent me!” 

Taako glared. “I thought you said that our  _ grandfather _ sent you.” 

Elaine’s grip on the steering wheel tightened, but her smile didn’t falter. “Of course! I meant that your Aunt told your grandfather to send me. See, she knows she won’t be able to see you for awhile, but she wants to you to spend time with family.” 

“What about Cousin Daniel?” Taako asked. “Why can’t we stay with him?” 

“He doesn’t have time to take care of two children. It’s very unfortunate, because he loves you two  _ so much _ . But don’t worry, you’ll still be with family.” 

Something tugged at the back of Taako’s mind. He didn’t trust this woman. 

Lup turned to him. “Taako,” She said. “We were gonna leave Daniel anyways. ‘Sides, this means Auntie T isn’t dead. I was right. She’s comin’ to get us.” 

Taako looked uneasily from Lup to Elaine and back to Lup. 

“She’s family,” Lup said, grabbing his hand. “We gotta trust family.” 

“If you want,” Elaine said. “I could take you back to your caseworker. What was her name…”

“Sloane?” 

“Right. Sloane,” She wrinkled her nose. “And I’m sure that staying with Sloane would be a lot less fun than staying with your grandfather. I bet she makes you do a lot of things you don’t want to do.” 

Taako looked at his feet. “She makes us sleep in separate rooms,” He said. 

Elaine gasped. “Now that is just cruel. Your grandfather would never make you sleep in different beds. Neither would I. You two are… such a pretty  _ set _ . Better together, I’m sure.” 

Lup nodded. 

“Well… yeah,” Taako said. “We do everything together.” 

“That is just deliciously adorable. Speaking of delicious, one the way to grandfather’s, we could stop for ice cream! Or, of course, you could go back to Sloane. I don’t have time for both, I’m afraid. But it’s completely your choice. And Taako, I’ll even let you sit in the front seat! What do you say?” 

Taako looked at Elaine again, and then back at Lup. 

“I won’t go if you don’t, Taako,” She said. He could tell she really wanted to go. He knew that Lup felt bad about the fire. About their Aunt. She cared about family. She cared about other people. She liked most people - except for Sloane and Daniel. Lup needed more than just Taako, even if Taako only needed her. 

“What kind of ice cream?” Taako asked. 

“Any kind you want.” 

Taako smiled, small and unsure, and got into the car. 

Elaine did, indeed, take them to get ice cream. They drove for an hour and a half, until they were far past anything Taako or Lup recognized. They exited the highway and drove into a small town. The town was dark, filled with shady corners and dive bars. Taako shied away from the windows. 

They parked in front of a small diner. It had a flickering sign. Two men stood outside, smoking cigarettes. The walked into the diner. Taako and Lup held each other’s hands,so tight that it hurt. The kept sneaking glances around to make sure that no one was coming for them. Elaine seemed unbothered. 

They were situated in a booth. It was old, the faux-leather cracked revealing a foam filling. The twins squished into the left side, clinging to each other. Elaine took the right side. 

“What kind of ice cream would you kids like?” She asked. 

“Um… I dunno. What kinds do you have?” Lup responded. 

“All kinds.” 

“I want Rocky Road,” Taako said. 

“Strawberry,” Lup said. “With hot sauce.” 

“That’s gross, Lulu.”

“You’re gross, Koko.” 

“One order of Rocky Road and one order of strawberry with hot sauce coming up,” Elaine said. She slid out of the booth and walked into the back room. 

“Is she allowed to do that?” Lup asked. “Do you think she works here?” 

Taako shrugged. 

Before they could continue speculating, a portly balding man slid into the side of the booth that Elaine had just vacated. 

He smiled at the two of them, not saying anything. 

“Um…” Taako said, grabbing Lup’s hand under the table. He could feel her warming up. “Hullo?”

“Hi,” He said, his smile stretching. “Are you kids getting some ice cream?”

“Yeah…” Taako said. “Elaine’s getting it for us. She’s big and scary and a grown up so if you try anything she’ll kick your ass!” He didn’t believe that this was true, but he didn’t want this man thinking they were defenseless. 

“I’m not going to hurt you,” The man said. “Elaine is a friend of mine. I own this place. I just wanted to talk to you. Ask you a few questions.” 

Taako glanced at Lup. Lup looked back at him. She was still gearing up to use magic, just in case. 

“Not till Elaine gets back,” Taako said. He didn’t trust Elaine, but he trusted her more than he trusted this guy. 

Elaine returned a few second later, with large bowls full of generous portions of ice cream. She gave the twins each a big pink spoon. They dug in without a second thought. 

“Warren,” Elaine giggled. “Interrogating them already?”

The man, Warren, shrugged. “Just excited I guess.” He turned back to the kids. “Are you ready to answer some questions?” 

Lup nodded through a mouthful of ice cream. Answering questions wouldn’t be so bad. These people were nice. They gave her ice cream. 

“Let’s start with the basics. What are your names?”

“‘M Lup, an’ he’s Taako.”

“Last names?”

Taako shook his head. 

“Excellent. How old are you?”

“Seven. Almost eight.” 

“Have you ever had a haircut?”

That was a weird question. But it didn’t matter. These people were nice. 

Taako shook his head again. Not that he could remember. Lup shook her head as well. There was so much ice cream. It was so good. Probably the best ice cream they’d ever had. 

“Where are your parents?”

“Dead.”

“Do you have any family?” 

“We got our grandpa,” Lup said. “The one you’re taking us to.” 

“Right. Yeah. Besides that.” 

Lup shook her head. 

“Anyone that would miss you?” Warren asked. “Anyone that would look for you?” 

Another weird question. They probably had a reason for it. These people were nice. 

“There’s Sloane,” Taako said. 

“Their caseworker,” Elaine told Warren. Warren nodded. 

“Are you two elves?”

Lup giggled, and took another bite of ice cream. “No,” She said. “Why would you think that?”

“Don’t lie to me.” 

Lup glanced at Taako. He shrugged. They could trust them. They wouldn’t hurt them. These people were nice. 

“Yeah,” Lup said. “We are.” 

“How have you managed to stay hidden so well?” 

“Magic,” Taako said. He took another bite of ice cream. Usually when he ate this much sugar his stomach started to hurt, but not this time. He felt great. 

“‘You have magic that isn’t detectable by sensors?” 

“Only some of it. Disguise self ‘n’ stuff.” 

“Incredible.” 

He stared at them for awhile. If it was anyone else, they might’ve been uncomfortable, but these people were nice, so it was okay. 

“Last question, then I’ll let you get to sleep. You are sleepy, aren’t you?” 

Taako and Lup hadn’t realized it, but yeah, they were sleepy. 

“How would you describe your physical condition? Any illnesses or injuries?” 

“Scars n’ stuff,” Lup said. “Nothin’ too bad.” She yawned. 

“Bad dreams,” Taako said. “Sometimes we scream at night.” 

Warren nodded. 

“Okay kids, get to bed.” 

Taako and Lup were hit with a wave of exhaustion. They felt their eyes go heavy. They slumped against the wall and against each other. Before he drifted off to sleep, Taako heard Elaine and Warren start to discuss something about “buyers” and “prices” but it didn’t worry him. These people were nice. 


	10. I Love Julia Burnsides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is sad

“You’ve already met Barry,” Lucretia said, gesturing at the teenager behind her. He was still wearing his dramatic red robe. Lup tried not to snort. What a fucking nerd. “And I suppose you’ve met Carey, Killian, and Noelle as well.”

“Not formally,” Taako said. Lup swept the three guards, sizing them up. Taako looked at them as well, but in a way that no one except Lup (and probably Angus) could tell he was actually paying any attention. 

_ Could we take an orc, a dragon person, and a robot?  _ Lup asked. 

_ Dunno. Worse comes to worse, probs. _

“You’ll have to forgive them for being a bit jumpy,” Lucretia said. “They’re our main security team, and you understand why we have to be vigilant on matters like that.” 

Lup shrugged. She twirled her umbrella around her wrist nonchalantly. “I guess.” 

“Speaking of which… could I… see your umbrella?” Lucretia asked, walking towards Lup. 

Lup smiled. “Nope,” She said, launching the umbrella in Taako’s direction without breaking eye contact. Taako launched into the air and caught it. 

Lucretia stepped back, holding her hands out in a placating gesture. “I understand why you’re… apprehensive. But I promise. No harm will come to you here.” 

“Yeah, sure, no problem, kemosabe.” 

Lucretia nodded curtly. “Alright. Follow me, please.” 

She started walking down a hall. Barry followed in step behind her. Taako and Lup shared a glance, and then followed as well, Taako holding the umbrella and Lup with her arm around Angus’ shoulder. The twins’ pinkies were loosely linked, a reassurance that they weren’t alone. 

_ Do you trust this? At all?  _ Taako’s voice clattered around in Lup’s head. His thoughts were as loud as his personality. 

_ Nope. _ Lup responded, trying to pop the p without actually using sound.  _ But this seems like our best option. They’ve got shit to steal, things to learn. Down there we’re probably wanted magicians by now. I say we lie low here, stay protected, until we have a better plan to fuck off.  _

_ That works.  _

“Down this hall, you’ll find the med bay. Hopefully you won’t ever need to use it,” Lucretia said. 

“Then why are we here?” Angus asked. Taako glanced at the kid. He had this starry look in his eye, taking everything in. God, he was gonna love it here, wasn’t he. 

Lucretia smiled warmly at him and crouched down. Taako resisted the urge to shove Angus behind him and away from her. “We’re going to meet a few very good friends of mine, Angus.” 

Angus furrowed his brow. “Don’t patronize me, ma’am. You can speak to me the same way you would speak to any adult.” 

Taako cracked a smile. Hell yeah, Angles. 

“Right,” Lucretia said, standing up straight. “One of my very good friends and one of the top operatives here at the Bureau spends most of his time here. With his wife.” 

Barry stepped in front of Lucretia. He wrung his hands worriedly. “Um, yeah, and, when you see his um… his wife. Just don’t… don’t say anything. Okay? Okay. Cool.” He held up an awkward thumbs up. 

Lucretia smiled and pushed the door open. “Magnus!” She said. “We have some people here to meet you!” 

A young man, probably in his early twenties, sat with a woman, probably in her mid twenties. She was encapsulated in a strange golden aura. In her hands was some sort of fancy cup, and floating above her, suspended by magic, was a bell. She was hooked up to a machine. It was beating erratically, but no one seemed particularly bothered by this. The woman was covered in scars and burns and bruises. She wore a hospital gown, her dark hair sprawling out over her pillow. She was beautiful, but also, wrong. Strange. She was dying. 

Not dying slowly, she wasn’t sick, she was dying over and over again. Her body had been rapidly dying for years, and only through a powerful combination of temporal magic and necromancy had her soul not departed from this plane of existence. 

The man stood up. He had a jagged scar that ran down his face. His beard and sideburns were unkempt. He was… completely yolked. There were dark bags under his eyes. 

“Oh,” He said. “Oh. Holy shit! You’re… you’re the twins, aren’t you?” 

Lup smiled awkwardly. 

“Charmed,” Taako said. 

The man smiled. It looked so much more natural than the somber expression he’d been wearing. “I’m Magnus,” He said. “This is Julia. My wife.” 

“Nice to meet you, Magnus,” Lup said. “Nice to meet you, um, Julia.” 

Magnus sat down next to the bed. He rested his hand gently on the shimmering light. “Ya hear that, Jules?” He said. “It’s the twins. Taako and Lup. The ones I’ve been tellin’ you so much about.” 

The twins stood awkwardly, shuffling their weight from foot to foot. They were not used to vulnerability, especially from strangers, and this man seemed to be made of nothing but muscle and feelings. 

“I’m not crazy, you know,” He said, turning back to face them, although they got the feeling he wasn’t really talking to them. “Research shows that people in comas can hear you. I think that hearing my voice helps her. It calms her down.”

Taako and Lup nodded. 

“What’s wrong with her?” Angus blurted. 

Taako sighed. He should’ve known there was no way that fucking Mr. Mystery over here would be able to keep his mouth shut. 

“Angus!” Lucretia said. 

“Hey! Don’t fucking snap at him!” Taako said, glaring at Lucretia. He turned to Angus. “What the fuck, little man, don’t say that kind of shit.” 

“No, it’s, it’s okay,” Magnus said. He took a deep breath. “She’s dead. Well, actually,” He check his watch. “She’s not dead right now. Right now she’s dying. She’s um… she’s asphyxiating on smoke, and her lungs are being crushed by pillars and -” He cut himself off, taking another shaky, watery breath. “Julia died. But we’re keeping her alive in a sort of… time loop. And her soul is trapped in the mortal realm, so she’s not technically  _ dying _ . She can’t be taken to the astral plane. The problem is, she’s stuck in the loop of the day she died. The way that the loop is set up, she goes through the process of her death every day, even if the thing that killed her doesn’t actually happen. We have her in a coma so that she doesn’t have to actually experience it.” He paused. “We think. For all we know she could still be in there, living her death over and over, scared and alone and in the dark and -” Tears threatened to spill down his face. “Fuck,” He said. “I’m sorry.” 

“How long has she been like this?” Taako asked, surprising himself. He didn’t usually care about the plights of strangers. He assured himself it was just morbid curiosity. 

“Eleven years,” Barry said. He sounded ashamed. “It was never supposed to… I thought I would be able to fix it sooner but. I was wrong.” 

“Oh. Fantasy Jesus. That sounds… horrible,” Lup said. 

Magnus nodded. “Yeah.” He wiped at his eyes, and then turned to them. “But there’s no use feeling sorry for ol’ Magnus. Me ‘n’ Bar’ll figure something out. Julia will be okay. She’s tough.”

Lup nodded, smiling uneasily. She didn’t understand why Magnus would open up to them so easily. You could extract her spleen easier than you could extract her tragic backstory, and she imagined it would be even more difficult to get anything out of Taako. 

“I’m sure Taako and Lup can help as well, sir,” Angus said. “They’re very intelligent. Especially in science. And the arcane.” 

Magnus looked hopeful. “Really?”

Barry looked surprised. “Really?”

And Lucretia looked confused. “Really?” 

“No,” The twins said at the same time, their voices a matching tone of flat. 

“Angus has an active imagination.”

“Don’t patronize me!” 

“Then don’t say stupid shit.”

Magnus cut in. “You guys are staying with Merle, right?” 

Lucretia looked pained. “Um, we hadn’t, exactly, gotten to that part yet?” 

“Who the hell is Merle?” Taako asked. 

Lup remembered Barry asking Lucretia if she wanted to call Merle earlier. She hadn’t been able to make out the name then, which meant he must’ve been voidfished. She wondered why. 

“Merle’s a cleric,” Lucretia said. “He’s a very nice man, and he has lots of experience taking care of kids -”

“Hold the fuck up,” Taako said. “Are you actually making us stay with a  _ foster parent _ ?” 

“No, not a foster parent, per se, but we felt it would be best if you had someone to watch out for you. And a house to live in, rather than dorms or apartments.”

“We’re not children -” 

“You’re only seventeen! And Angus is… what… ten? Eleven?”

“Does anyone else stay with a guardian?” Lup asked. 

“Well…” Lucretia sputtered. 

“Barold!” Lup said. “How old are you?” 

“That’s a… um… complicated question…” 

“How is it complicated?”

“I’m, I guess, technically seventeen? But also. Not.”

“Barry is a special case,” Lucretia said. “Please, kids, you’re going to love Merle. I’m sure of it.”

“Listen, Lucretia,” Taako said, staring her down. “You say you’ve been ‘watching out for us’ so, I don’t know how much you know already, but we’ve been through a lot of bullshit. And a lot of that bullshit had to do with shitty adults lying to us. There’s a fucking reason we prefer to be on our own. So you better think long and hard about if this is the best choice for establishing trust, because you’re already on thin. Fucking. Ice.” 

Lucretia nodded, her gaze steely. “Let’s go introduce you to Merle.” 

 

\---

 

Merle Highchurch (aka Merle Hightower depending on who you asked) was no stranger to sonofabitch situations. But finding himself the personal cleric/confidant to a sanctimonious tyrant? That had to take the cake. 

He hadn’t intended to get involved in the war at all. Sure, Merle was a dwarf, and all of the magical races getting genocided wasn’t exactly great for him, but he wasn’t really a high power magic user. He was a barely competent cleric of a glorified stoner god. He’d be fine. 

That was the bulk of Merle’s life philosophy. Why sweat the little things? You choose joy, you choose happiness, you look at all the bullshit coming your way, and you laugh it off. 

He found himself explaining this life philosophy to a smartly dressed man in a Fantasy Dive Bar at two in the morning one night. He hadn’t thought anything of it, he was just doing his part to spread the good word. The only unusual thing was that this man seemed to be listening. Instead of shooing Merle off, or cussing him out, he was buying him drinks and nodding at all the right times. 

“What was your name again?” Merle asked, before he took his departure. 

“John,” The man said pleasantly. 

“Well, John, here’s my card, call me up if you ever want to continue our discussion.” He burped. “And remember, Pan loves ya.” 

John laughed. Not in a “funny-ha-ha” way, but in a “oh you stupid old man, I guess I’ll indulge you,” way. John was kind of a condescending prick. 

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Merle.” 

Merle walked away from the bar and caught a cab back to his house. He unlocked the door, and sighed at the absence of little feet running to meet him. He knew the divorce was his fault, and he hadn’t thought he would miss his kids, but his heart still ached. Merle ignored it, and flopped onto his bed, tumbling into the kind of deep slumber that only excess alcohol can provide. 

He did not think of the smartly dressed man that he met at the bar. He went to the bar, he went to the park, he wrote a letter to his kids. It was as if the conversation never happened. Merle didn’t think anything of it, until three days later, when four soldiers showed up at his house with a job offer. 

 

\---

 

Julia came into his room at three in the morning. This was strange for a lot of reasons, the least of which being that she entered through the window rather than the door. 

Magnus woke to a soft rustling. He blinked a few times, his eyes lazy from sleep, and discovered the curvy figure of Julia Waxmen on his floor. He sat up, about to say something akin to “Julia, what the fuck?” when she catapulted herself onto the bed and clamped a hand over his mouth. 

Gods. She was strong, and agile, and artistic, and sexy, and not the  _ time _ , Burnsides! 

She grabbed his hand. 

_ Meet _

_ Now _

_ Follow _

_ Confirm _

Magnus nodded.

She raised her eyebrows and slowly pulled her hand off of his mouth. Magnus was incredibly confused, but also very excited. With a nod of her head, she inclined for him to follow her. Quietly, they crept out the window, keeping to the shadows as they scaled down the house. Julia lead him away from the main road, cutting through the woods, towards the edge of the cliff that Raven’s Roost was nestled on. 

They reached a tree, large and sturdy. Julia grabbed a stick from the ground and hit it in a precise rhythm. Tap-tap. Tap. Tap. A rope ladder cascaded off the edge.

Without a word, she climbed up the ladder, disappearing into an expertly hidden treehouse. Magnus sighed, and briefly wondered if his crush was about to ritualistically murder him, before following her up. When he entered the treehouse, there was a smattering of people seated on pillows. The walls held weapons, and the floors were covered in maps and plans. Someone handed him a cupcake. 

“Magnus Burnsides,” Julia said, patting him on the shoulder. “Welcome to the Raven’s Roost Revolution.” 


	11. Kravitz Is Bad At Talking To People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait. the lead up to graduation was really hectic school-wise but now that it's summer i should have a lot more time for writing.

Lucretia lead them out of the main building, further into the moonbase. It reminded Lup of a 

school diorama - some sort of biome that was protected by the glass dome overhead, keeping in all the oxygen and steeling them from any weather. It also probably helped sell the camouflage if the moon was actually moon shaped. Although, it seemed that the powers of the Voidfish (who Magnus had promised to introduce them to later, apparently he was one of the people in charge of taking care of it) allowed Lucretia to manipulate the minds of the masses into believing anything she wanted them to, as long as she could write around it well enough. Lup wasn’t sure how she felt about that. People shouldn’t have that much power. But, she’d rather Lucretia had that power than this John guy. He seemed like serious bad news. 

She told them a little about Merle. Apparently he was in some sort of witness moonbase protection program. He had worked as a spy for the Bureau of Balance, as John’s personal cleric, but something had gone…  _ wrong _ .  Lup could tell from her tone that she probably shouldn’t ask about it. He had agreed to take care of them - apparently he had kids, but don’t tell him she told you, because that was his personal business. He was a cleric, but not a good one, and he was kind of an asshole. 

They’d definitely had worse foster parents. 

She lead them down a small path. The clinical sidewalk of the base devolved into gravel, and then grass, and then a small stone pathway that lead to a pleasant looking cottage. It had a thatched roof and a red brick chimney that was puffing merry clouds of smoke. Lup couldn’t help but think of the wonderful looking houses in fairy tales, and how they were usually home to witches. 

Lucretia took a deep breath, but on a smile, and walked to the door, knocking purposefully. It opened, revealing a tall girl with grey skin, violet eyes, and long ears. Lup registered her as a drow. 

“Hullo Madame Director,” She said. She spoke with a strong southern accent. Lup and Taako had once stayed with a southern family for awhile. That hadn’t turned out well, but things rarely did. 

“Hi Ren,” Lucretia said. “I’ve come to introduce you to -”

“Oh. My. God!” The drow - Ren - broke out into a huge smile. “Taako!” She ran out the door and down the path, throwing her arms around Taako’s neck. Lup could feel him stiffen up beside her. 

“Um,” She said, touching Ren on the shoulder. “Could you please… not?” 

Ren blushed. “Oh, Istus help me, I’m so sorry! I just… I’ve wanted to meet you for so long and. I mean, not that Lup isn’t amazing, but Taako you’re, I mean, you’re, you’re… you’re my  _ hero _ !” 

Taako’s eyes widened, then he recovered. “Of course,” He said. Lup could tell he was deeply uncomfortable. “I’m everyone’s hero. I’m great. Um, what, exactly, I mean, out of all my many hero worthy qualities, which are you most drawn - uh, why? Am I? You know…?”

Her smile widened. “Your cooking! I mean, sometimes we’re just able to divine flashes of life and all that, but your cooking always looks so amazing! My family, we had a restaurant, you know, before… everything. I love to cook. And I just… I always wanted to meet you so you could, I dunno, help me? Teach me? You’re just so confident! And badass!”

Taako laughed. “I mean, I don’t just give my wicked cooking pointers out to anyone… but… hells yeah, homie, Taako is totally down for a mad cooking sesh.” 

“Really? That is… amazing. Seriously. Thank you so much!” 

It was nice for people to appreciate Taako. Sure, he could be insufferably egotistical sometimes, but Lup would rather he have an overinflated sense of self than none at all. 

“Mavis!” Someone called from inside the house. “Mavey! Who's out there! Is that Lucy? Tell her to come in for tea!” 

Ren bit her lip, worry taking over her previously excited face. Lucretia cringed. 

An old dwarf came waddling through the doorway. Lup glanced over at him, and her eyes widened in shock. She could feel both Taako and Angus next to her reacting similarly. He had an eyepatch, but it didn’t cover the rest of the grizzled burns and scars that spread out across his face. His skin was bumpy, covered by burns and bruises. Worse than Magnus. One of his arms was a poorly fashioned prosthetic, except it wasn’t a prosthetic, it was a tree branch, with gnarled sticks as imitation fingers. He walked with a limp. A sash was tied around his waist. Lup recognized the far away, traumatic look in his eyes. It reminded her of her “grandfather” all those years ago. It reminded her of her aunt. It reminded her of Lucretia and Magnus and everyone else she’d met on the moonbase so far. It reminded her of herself, and Taako, and Angus. Lup wondered if there was a world in which she wouldn’t recognize that look. 

“Mavey? Mooks? Where’d you scamper off to?” The dwarf said. His voice sounded far away and hollow. 

Ren rushed toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Her hand glowed. Magic. “Merle?” She said. “Merle, it’s me. It’s Ren?”

“Lucy!” He said. “When’d you get so old?”

Lucretia reached out to Merle, putting her hand on the other shoulder. 

“Merle?” Ren tried again. “You’re on the moon. Today is Sunday, September -”

Something snapped. “I know what day it is, Ren,” Merle said, swatting her hand away. “I’m not that stupid.” He smiled good naturedly. “These must be the new kids! Taako, Lup, and…” He turned to Ren and stage whispered. “Who’s the half pint?”

“My name is Angus McDonald,” Angus piped up. “And, I’m taller than you, sir.”

Merle scowled. 

“Merle,” Lucretia said. “Taako, Lup, and Angus are going to be staying with you for awhile. Won’t that be nice?” 

The scowl broke. “You don’t have to talk to me like a child, Lucy,” He said. “I know that Dav and I are similar in size, but we are different people.” 

There was something behind his tone that Lup couldn’t quite place. 

“Yes, of course,” Lucretia said. “Well, I’ve got work to do. I’ll… leave you all to get settled.” 

She started back down the path, gripping her staff tightly. 

“So,” Merle said. “We only got four bedrooms. Two of ya will have to double up -”

“Lup and I can share,” Taako said. 

“Great.” Merle slapped his palms together. “I’m more of hands off kinda guy. Honestly, I’m not sure why Lucy stuck ya with me, probably so that Ren didn’t get lonely. She needs more friends who aren’t mean old men.”

“You aren’t mean, Merle.”

“Damn straight I’m not. Anyway. Do what you want, don’t blow shit up, don’t touch my plants, and enjoy your stay at Casa de Hitower -”

“Highchurch”

“Highchurch.” 

He adjusted his sash, and when he did, a vine wrapped around the grisled arm that was still flesh. The he turned and disappeared back in the house. 

Ren smiled again. “Merle is… he’s a good man. He’s been takin’ care of me since I got here, not that he’d ever admit it. The war has been real hard on him. But let’s not talk about that! C’mon, I’ll show y’all the kitchen!” 

\---

If Taako was being honest, Grandpa Tostada was a little disappointing. He wondered if he had that disease old people get when they’re really old and act like their brain is already dead. Taako hoped that never happened to him. But, he was only eight, so he had like… what… eighty years? However long elves usually lived. 

But Grandpa was nice. Grandpa was an elf, even if he didn’t look anything like  them. He would give them sweets and sing show tunes with them. He had an old record player, and sometimes they would dance around the house together, Grandpa, Taako, and Lup, laughing and singing and dancing. That was when Grandpa seemed most checked in. 

It was Lup who noticed how short his hair was. 

“I’ve never seen an elf with such short hair,” She said. 

“You’ve only seen three elves,” Taako replied. 

“I know, but do you remember all those stories? About elves? They say if you weave an elves hair into a special charm, then you can control ‘em.” 

“Those’re just stories. ‘Sides, just ‘cause that could happen doesn’t mean it did.”

“I guess.”

“Tell ya what, Lulu. You see anyone controllin’ Grandpa with some magic charm like the witches on Fantasy Hocus Pocus, we’ll revisit the theory.”

Lup had flipped him off for that. 

Grandpa lived out on farm in the country. He had horses that Taako loved to ride. That was the best thing about living with Grandpa. Not only could the twins do whatever they wanted, they were encouraged to do whatever they wanted. Elaine came over every few days, and they would all sit down and have dinner. When Taako and Lup mentioned they liked cooking, Elaine had the cook let them help with meals and teach them tricks. When they talked about wanting to learn gymnastics, Elaine got them a private tutor. When Lup talked about what book series’ were her favorite, Elaine brought her a shiny new box set the next day, and from then on, the library was consistently stocked and updated. When Taako said he wanted to learn to ride horses, Elaine not only got him a tutor, but got him his own horse. He named it Garyll, and sometimes, Taako would do a bit of magic to make Garyll look like a unicorn, but with two horns, because everything was better with a twin. 

They didn’t go to school, which was perfectly fine by Taako, because school was the worst. In fact, they didn’t leave the farm at all. Occasionally Elaine would bring them fancy food, or pizza, or chinese takeout, and once Taako and Lup had been exploring and had seen a road before one of Grandpa’s attendants called them back, but they hadn’t ever been off the farmland. They also hadn’t seen any other kids. 

But that didn’t mean they didn’t see people. Grandpa Tostada had a lot of people who worked for him. Most of them were humans. Some of them were elves. They were all very nice and accommodating for Taako and Lup. Taako was pretty sure Grandpa was rich. 

It was Taako who noticed the ears. 

“You ever noticed how all the elves here have shitty ears?” He asked one night. Lup was sitting on the counter messing with a textbook. She had never had the patience for reading. Taako, contrary to popular belief, was the one who was able to sit for long periods of time and do one thing. Lup had to be doing twelve things at once. She would glance at words, and then highlight sections and copy down formulas and often times cut out entire sections and paste them into her notebooks. They were both kinesthetic learners, but Lup took it too an extreme. 

Lup looked up from the book, twirling a pencil in her hands. “Whadda mean?” She asked. 

Taako set aside the textbook  _ he’d _ been working with, and rested his hand on his chin. “I mean all the elves that work here, ‘specially Grandpa, have got like… tattered ears? Like they don’t look… good. They look like someone put ‘em through the garlic chopper.” 

“Oh.”

“The lady who’s been teaching me to ride is completely missing her left ear.” 

Lup raised an eyebrow.

“An’ I’m not saying that I’m buyin’ into your crazy conspiracy theories, but it’s just…”

“Weird.”

“Yeah. Weird.” 

Something creaked in the house. Both the twins jumped. Taako glanced back at Lup, who raised her eyebrows. Taako bit his lip, and then blew a raspberry at her. She laughed, louder than normal, and they returned to their books. 

The next time Elaine came for dinner, she brought ice cream for the twins. They felt better after that. 

Eight months into their stay on the farm, Taako was having a rare conversation with his Grandpa. 

It wasn’t that Taako didn’t like talking to his Grandfather, it was just that conversations were hard for him. Grandpa had this far away look in his eyes. Taako thought of him sort of as a halfway person. Half of him was there, and the other half was far away, either because someone had taken it or because his Grandpa didn’t want it anymore. But sometimes it would come back, just for a minute. That was when Taako liked to talk to him. 

“I was thinkin’, cause there aren’t any magic sensors around here, that maybe, I could figure out a spell to get Garyl to talk? Garyl’s my horse. Do ya think there’s a spell to make horses talk? Do you know a spell that can make horses talk?!” 

Grandpa chuckled. “I can’t do much magic anymore,” He said. 

“Oh. That sucks. Why not?”

“I… I guess… I’m not…” His eyes started to cloud over. 

“Hey!” Taako sprang up and put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Grandpa. You don’t need magic. Me ‘n Lup’ll do all the magic for you. I’ll just ask Elaine if she knows someone who can teach me.” 

Grandpa nodded, coming back. “Yeah. You do that, uh…”

“It’s Taako, Grandpa.”

“Taako. Right. Weird fuckin name.” 

Taako shrugged. He kneaded his fingers into his shirt. “Hey, Grandpa, what was my mom like? I know you don’t talk about her a lot… but you don’t talk about anything a lot. I get if it’s too painful I just… I dunno.”

Grandpa furrowed his brows. “How the hell would I know your parents?” 

Taako blanched. He felt panicky. “That’s a… a good goof, Grandpa,” He said. “We don’t have to talk about my parents if you don’t want to.” 

“Yeah,” Grandpa was floating away again. Taako didn’t try and bring him back. “You should be quiet, kid. Matron might hear ya.” 

Taako nodded. “Okay,” He whispered. “I’m… I’m gonna… I’m gonna go find Lup,” He said, stumbling away. He tore through the house. “Lup!” He called. “Lup!” 

“Whoa!” Lup said, rushing towards him. He crashed into her, tears running down his face. “Lup, Lup, I don’t like it hear. We should leave. We need to leave. I don’t… I don’t trust them. Remember when they said Auntie was gonna meet us here? Well! She didn’t! I don’t think Grandpa knows who we are! Lup, I’m scared!” 

Lup pet his hair gently. “Hey,” She said. “It’s okay, Taako. We’re safe here. People here are nice. Auntie’s just busy, and Grandpa’s just old. C’mon. I was just having some ice cream with Elaine. We’re safe here.”

And, because it was his sister, and because he wanted so badly for her to be right, Taako followed Lup into the dining room, and didn’t try to fight as Elaine’s ice cream soothed all of his worries. 

Four months later, Taako didn’t try to fight it when Elaine introduced him and Lup to a nice human family, and told them they were going to go home with them. 

He felt heavy, and sluggish. This would be fine. Everyone here was nice. He was safe. 

The mother played with his hair. “So pretty,” she crooned, and cupped his face. Somewhere, Taako felt scared and uncomfortable, but it was so deep down he didn’t register it. 

The family had the twins put on “Disguise Self” as they were loaded into the car, which turned out to be a good thing, because no one clocked them as elves when the police intercepted them crossing the state border. They were delivered to Sloane’s wife, Hurley. Taako barely felt it when Sloane pulled him and Lup into a bone crushing hug, tears streaming down her face. 

It took awhile for whatever magical bullshit was in that food to filter out of their systems. Taako and Lup never talked about the time they spent at Grandpa’s. They moved to a new home. They understood now, why they couldn’t tell anyone they were elves. 

 

\---

 

Lup was fourteen when she got the umbrella. She was busking, something she’d been doing since she was eleven, and had gotten progressively better at. Lup loved playing music. Taako didn’t. She’d tried to teach him some violin once, and he’d said it “wasn’t his jam.” 

“I’m more of an art appreciator than an artist. ‘Sides, you don’t need the competition, Lulu.”

Lup wondered if maybe she liked music so much because Taako wasn’t interested in it. Don’t get her wrong, she fucking loved her brother. He was her heart and soul and the most important person in the world, but it was nice to have something that was hers. Something that made Lup, Lup. People didn’t usually care to tell the difference between the two of them, which was fine, because people were fucking dumb, but there was a difference. There were lots of differences. Lup was her own person, just like Taako was his. And when Lup was playing music, she was the only person that existed in the world. She was carving out something that was fully hers. 

The only person who had never gotten them mixed up was Sloane. But Sloane was sucky and a liar and only ever wanted to get rid of them, so she didn’t count. 

She was playing Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata when a voice interrupted her. 

“Not bad for a beginner,” It said, in a heavy (and bad) cockney accent. 

Lup stopped playing and cocked one perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “Beginner?” 

She stared at the guy in front of her. He couldn’t be older than she was, with dark dreads held back in a ponytail and two sparkling gold skeleton earrings. Great. Some rich asshole coming to “critique” her violin skills. 

“I’ve been playing for five years,” She said, not bothering to keep the annoyance out of her voice. Guys like this didn’t usually tip anyway. 

“Oh,” He said, and cringed. “Well, your technique could use some work. I mean, seriously, you aren’t even holding the bow right. If you adjusted your position, it would give you a lot more control.” 

“I have the perfect amount of control!”

The guy’s face flushed. “I’m sorry,” He said. “I, it seems we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. I wasn’t trying to offend you -”

“ _ Really? _ ” 

“Honestly, I’m not supposed to be here -”

“Then why don’t you  _ leave _ ?” 

“I just… wanted to give you something.”

Lup stopped dead. “You wanted to what?” 

The guy held out his umbrella, dark red with a gold trimming. Lup stared at it. 

“An umbrella?”

“A magic umbrella.”

“A  _ magic _ umbrella?” 

“Yeah. It absorbs the magic of any user it defeats. It’s great protection against liches, and,” He smiled. “It can’t be detected as a magic item by the sensors.”

Her eyes widened. “Seriously?” She started to reach for it, then pulled back. “Wait. Why the fuck are you giving it to me?”

“I… I noticed, or, well, my mom noticed, that you and Taako have been using shitty black market wands. Your magic… you guys… you deserve a better focus. Something as weird and wonderful as you are.” 

“Hold on a second, how the fuck do you know who Taako and I are? Are you spying on us? What the fuck is going on?” Lup’s annoyance melted into anger, and a little bit of fear that she covered up with more anger.

The guy cringed. “Shit,” He said, his accent dropping. “I… um… it was good to see you, Lup.” 

And then he was gone. And Lup was momentarily confused. She shook her head and started playing, adjusting her hold on the bow a bit. 

That night, when counting her tips, she noticed a crisp one hundred dollar bill folded at the bottom. She wondered how she hadn’t seen someone drop that it. Whatever. She and Taako were totally getting the ingredients to make slow cooked turkey. After she counted her tips and put away her violin, Lup noticed an umbrella leaning up against the wall behind her. Without thinking, she grabbed it. It felt… right, somehow. It felt like home. Like it was made for her. 

“Why the fuck do you have an umbrella?” Taako asked that night.

“Dunno. Found it on the street. Thought it might be useful.”

“It makes you look like a clown.”

“Like… a cool clown?”

“Lup, there’s no such thing as a cool clown.”

“Fuck off.”

Lup noticed that sometimes Taako would randomly pull the umbrella out of their bags and carry it around. He made sure to pack it next time they moved house. 

She wasn’t sure why she thought to use it as a wand - or, no, a focus. That’s what they were called - but it worked. 

“Maybe magic will just go through anything pointed and stick like,” Taako had said. 

Slowly, the umbrella became like an extra limb, shared effortlessly through the two of them. It worked so well that using a wand felt wrong. Or maybe, the umbrella just felt right. 

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr @aliensinflowercrowns
> 
> drop a comment and i'll love you forever


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